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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 8 years ago

whats wrong with me? Open-minded people please.?

I usually am aware of my feelings, and why I do certain things but what would you consider this as? Last month I drank half a bottle of cough syrup, only because that's all of what was left, I wanted to drink everything. I didn't even think, I just did it. I remember saying to myself that whatever happens, happens and the result is my destiny. I know I'm the type of person who would never have the guts to actually commit suicide, but would you consider this an attempt? I ended up feeling very ill, dizzy, dry tongue and vomited a lot of it out, many hours later. I know I've been depressed for a long time, suffered with the symptoms of low-self esteem, social anxiety and B.D.D but I'm a tad shocked of what I did. Its been about 3 weeks since then and I haven't felt any symptoms so I don't think anything bad happened to me. I'm seeing a therapist soon and I really don't know what to tell her, and I don't know if I would ever try something like that again, I felt at my lowest point that day and a part of me felt like it was dream and it wasn't real, I wasn't being heard or understood, I felt like a burden on other people, in the same time I also felt I served my purpose to my friends and family by being unselfish and giving (I give a lot in holidays) before I committed the act. I'm sorry if this is really confusing. whats weird is though, after feeling very nauseous in the middle of the night, not being able to cope with it, I remember telling my mother. She reacted as though to not do it again and that we have enough problems to deal with. Its been ignored and not addressed since then. I'm afraid of telling my therapist because of how she would react. would you consider this "normal attention seeking behavior" or "a very ill minded behavior?" any insight or advice would be greatly appreciated, judged and critical comments won't please and thank - you.

Update:

Thank you all for such lovely answers, they've all helped me feel a bit better and encouraged, although I do understand its going to take a while to move from A to B, I feel as though this is a start to that path. thank you so much even for the simplest encouragement :)

4 Answers

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I can very much relate to you. I usually am up and down but when I am down I usually will do half-assed suicide jobs, for fear of actually dying(although I want to at times, but am afraid..right?) But beware in the long run this can cause brain damage and all nasty **** you don't need. I can tell you to talk to a shrink etc. But being honest, being in the same situation I notice two things help. 1. Stop faking it..and by faking it, I mean stop trying so hard to feel better, as this is contrary. If it';s what you're doing, no. Take this time to explore yourself. You know what's great when you have nothing? You have nothing to lose. At 1st when I heard that I was pissed...but then I realized, it's so true. Take this time to recreate you. You sound like a very sweet person who cares too much..it isn't a bad thing at all, and a very nice quality, just difficult to handle. Keep your head up. I promise (we) you will get through this..ok? :)

    2. VITAMINS AND HERBS. This is underlooked. The vitamin niacin and the supplement 5htp have very much helped with both ocd, anxiety, and depression. While it may take a full month to get back to normal, please try it before giving up all hope.

    I know I can't convince you of how worthy you are and that you are a gift to this planet just as everyone is, but I can atleast say from experience that when you hit rock bottom atleast try to get back up before suicide. Remember, it's a permanent thing.,and anxiety and depression are not. Hang in there

  • 8 years ago

    There is no need to define the behavior you are referring to. It happened and you seem to want help. If this is true you will tell your therapist. Keep in mind that it may take a few tries to find the right therapist for you. If you do not like their reaction, tell them. What do you have to lose? What would you regret more: telling the therapist and getting a 'bad response' or continuing to hold this in and suffering more. Keep in mind you may consider any response bad since u are ashamed of what happened. If you want to move forward make a decision to be completely real and present with your therapist. Tell them how they make u you feel, explore, explore, explore. And remember it is not one night, or even a year of your life that defines you, but your drive to be better. Best of luck.

    Source(s): Grad school
  • 8 years ago

    This happens to many people....and its not that you re an attention seeker...you have a problem and the first thing you do is to tell your guardian ...n the closest one is your mom. But the thing is when she would have told you problems about hers u wouldnt have had shown more interest in hers because at that time you feel your problem is the bigger one as it affects you and you can feel it...the same thing happened with your mom when u told her about yours....so its completely natural....and the best solution to your problem is that ..close your eyes and think "whether it actually is a problem to me, am i not matured enough to just think and get the easiest of the solutions out of it"....because self-help is the best help you can get...and u sound like you've found your problem..so probably you yourself has a solution to it somewhere back in your head...which is what you need to think.

  • ?
    Lv 5
    8 years ago

    i love you

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