people tell me i dont talk enough?

ive become so shy and reserved over the years. Im 18 and never even had a relationship, theres this guy i really like and he likes me too, but he said hes not going to get into a relationship with me until i start talking because i dont talk enough. Ive known this for awhile now, i try to talk, i build up the courage to talk to strangers because of my job, but thats small talk that doesnt last very long, and i never talk about myself, or my feeling, or even when someone hurts me, i just keep everything inside and when i have the opportunity to talk about it, i dont, i dont even know where to start or how to say it, my mind just goes blank. Im so tired of being like this, its ruined my life. Ive dealt with depression for awhile and i think i might have anxiety which im trying to overcome, and dont tell me to see a theripist or get professional help because thats not an option for me. I just dont wanna be so lonely and be able to actually live my life. Lately most days im just sad and i feel like crying. How do i overcome this. Im so bad at conversation, its really getting to me.