Care to offer commentary/critique on this poem?

Some one can take a few lines:

The sun sets in the west

shoes come in pairs

candy is a dandy treat

fire can burn the uninitiated.

and they can be made ambiguous, tentative and vague

westering object sinks into sand

a brace of footware is traditional

joy in consuming your sugary fun

caught unawares by the flame.

This is poeticizng instead of poetry. It serves to distance the reader from the message and seeks beauty or complexity at the espense of communication.

That to me is what your poem is doing.

The need to be strong and not vulnerable seen in hindsight as a loss is how I perceive the message in this poem. I think it has other subtleties of emotion that I fear to think too hard about.

Your skill continues to grow. Especially liked how you wrapped up with the echo of the beginning. Hiram adds a valued point in that one should be careful about images being too obtuse that you lose the reader.

? ?A doubtless dance upon the souls of blades and glory, ?A deepening of what seems revenged and sanctity, ?yet, rounds out with readability of reason, empowerment restored, ? And for there who bypass thou blade in hand, ? For Kings and Dragons average command, ?? Rebellious as all destiny and chagrin, ???There be no relax yet chaos whom enter hotel, ..

Its rather beautiful Very post-modern. I love the last few lines. Its a fantastic way to end the poem.

You are a fine poet Evadne,

and always enjoy reading your compositions...

perfect