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kate
Lv 7
kate asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 8 years ago

Is it rude to ask for gifts back ?

About 5 years ago I met an 90 yr old man living in assisted living .

I started taking him out for lunch and errands a couple of times a month when I would go to town ( I live about 25 miles out ) . Several other people also have provided him transportation and assistance . About 2 months ago he decided to give 4 different people $500 gift cards ( my self included ) then yesterday he called and asked for the gift card back because he wanted to do something else with it . ( Everyone else had already cashed in their cards ) . Altho I didn't really need it , I felt it was a gift and rude to ask for it back .

Was it rude or am I being too sensitive ?

Update:

Note : I did return the card , then he promptly asked me to drive him to several places .

I just don't feel like Ever playing taxi for him again .

Update 2:

Note 2 : He has 10s of thousands in savings accounts ( also helped with his tax prep ) .

His assisted living place is upscale , provides all meals and room cleaning services .

Update 3:

Note to DR : I know all the other people he gave cards to . These were a 3rd party apple computer store gift cards ( the other 3 people picked up iPads ) and he had me take him to the store to get the card . ( I was actually considering upgrading my MacBook ) .

The only thing that money can be spent on now are the apple products at That store .

8 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    It is very rude!! he shouldnt have given it if he didnt really want to, but.... as he is old and frail you should take this into consideration,and give it back.

    add: I would still see him but... limit my time with him a little, and get others to drive him sometimes too, yes he is old and frail but... this doesnt mean he cant think of other peoples feelings..

  • 8 years ago

    If you had no need to spend the money in the past two months and you say you don't really need the money, then why not give the guy the gift card back? Sure, it IS rude that he asked for the money back, but take into consideration that he may have been too generous and regrets giving that amount of money away because he really needs it (more than you do).

    I would return it in a heart beat.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    Yes it is rude and wrong, but do you think he really cares?!

    You really should say something to him, you have nothing to lose nor would you be out of line. Just ask him something like "Jim? I need to ask you something. You know that gift card you gave me I found it rather odd and was a bit offended that you asked for it back. Why did you ask for it back?" see what he says, if he said he needed the money remind him that you help him with his taxes and from what you rec-elect his finances seem alright.

    Something else you need to keep in mind is, although you might have helped him with his taxes and it would seem that he has a lot of money in savings, you aren't aware (I don't believe) of what his expenses are. Once you retire you are on a fixed income and you should have a fair amount of money in savings of which budgeted for living expenses and future expenses, you know what I mean.

    How do you know that others got these gift cards anyway? Also I've never seen gift cards in the amount of $500, maybe he meant to give $50. In any case it was rude to ask for them back and you should ask about it.

  • 8 years ago

    The definition of a gift is to give without return. To barter means to trade one good or service for another.

  • 8 years ago

    It's a bit rude, but the guy is old as hell. Give it back since you still have it and don't really need it. I wouldn't hold it against him, but it is rude...

  • 8 years ago

    Tell ancient grandpa to screw off!

  • 8 years ago

    well it depends if you already have the gift or if you don'y want it

    Source(s): me
  • 8 years ago

    yes because they will thank ur desprate

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