Future Plans Advice!?

Sure. Stick with him while he gets his act together, and DO NOT plan a wedding until he has insurance, proper ID, and enough money to support you - and no debt.

If you are truly meant for each other, this won't be a problem. If he is now mature and responsible and really ready to be your husband, he will do this willingly.

There is no intelligent reason for you to marry a man who is in debt, and take on the fruits of his lack of responsibility. If he has truly overcome all of that, he will be more than willing to work to fix it, and present himself to you as a whole person who is able to provide for your future. If he cares about you and means to fix this, he wouldn't allow you to marry him until he fixes it all.

Wait until he is above water,insured and has his real ID or it won't end well.

It doesn't matter in the least how charming he or his family might be - the fact is, he has done a lot of damage. It's bad enough you would consider marrying him in this condition - but the possibility of bring children into it is even worse.

Let him have enough time to prove to you that he is responsible, the person he claims to be, and isn't an alcoholic. It should be a tough time to go through - once you're married, there will be more. You'd better know who you're going into this with, or I see a restraining order on the horizon.

He has a lot of debt. Okay. How much? How did he acquire it? Has it stopped growing other than interest, or is he still doing stuff to add to it? (Are you absolutely sure the answer to the second half of that question is "no"?) What is he doing to pay it down? What's his attitude toward saving in general?

He has a DUI on his record. Okay. Well, not okay, but does he get that beyond simply being frustrated at losing his license? Does he still drink to excess? Frequently? Are there circumstances that might trigger that behavior again? If so, how does he plan to handle them?

You can't simply expect this all to work out. It's going to take work, and some hard conversations. If you're not up for that, or you're not comfortable with the answers you get, or his actions don't seem to match what he tells you he's willing to do to resolve the issues, then don't get married.

First, just keeping it real, all couples who are newly engaged say the same things you do. So please don't assume you're in some separate orbit because your guy means the WORLD to you.

The main reason I mention this is that it's not a substitute for going about your plans logically. You won't like what I'm about to say, but every expert out there says the same thing: Nobody should get engaged until a person's individual life is straightened out in all aspects. You sound young -- do you realize the risks if his debts get attached to your credit?

Questions you need to get answered start with: how did he get in so much debt? Plenty of people get DUI's, but their finances don't crash and burn. More importantly, if he's got a good job and making good money, is he working with a debt reduction plan? Are you seeing progress in reducing the debt load?

You ask if it's possible to have a future with him, and I'd think anything is possible. But some of what you're saying makes you sound either very young or very naive. You shouldn't have gotten engaged until he had worked out all of this, and could then propose as an independent adult with stable finances and a stable career. At this point, he has none of that and you haven't seen proof he can ever get it worked out.

My advice: postpone the engagement and give him a chance to prove he can stand on his own. Heck, he should be asking you to do the same. Remember, financial disagreements and problems are one of the biggest causes of divorce, and the only people not at risk are the ones smart enough to talk through all of this BEFORE getting engaged.

Marry him and you pretty much marry his debt as well. Suggest bankruptcy -- before you get married. It will affect any plans to buy a house or a car, and he won't be able to get credit cards, but if it's that bad, he needs to get it resolved before you get married or you'll never get back on your feet.

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what you should do about what? i am sorry but i really didn't get what you want to do anything about.

you are engaged, so go ahead and get started planning your wedding. his debt is his responsibility to absolve. if it is really bad, have him look into bankruptcy. it is a biblical concept taken from the fact that God said that debt was to be forgiven every 7 years. so it is okay for christians to do it.

his name change will require some time and about 500 dollars worth of court fees, so he needs to decide if it is really that important to him. if so, he can apply for it online in most states.

just wait until the year is up for him to get his license. there is nothing to be done about that. in the meantime, you will have to do the driving. once he gets his license back, he is going to have to get SR22 insurance at first but, while it is a bit expensive, it can be done. plenty of companies carry it.

every thing you have here in front of you only requires a little time and some money. you are making too much of a big deal about it.