Living with a alcoholic?

If your mom cared about you at all, she wouldn't want to do this to you. So by allowing this to happen, you are basically dishonoring your mom. It will be hard to be on your own but please remember, you are not closing a door on your mom you are opening a window and allowing some sunshine into your own life.

You could leave but that is not the answer.

So many things happen in our lives that we have no control over.

If you could of stopped your mother and brother from doing what

they wanted and knowing the harm they were doing to themselves,

you would have. But, no one can change unless they want to change.

All you could of done, is what you did...watch it all occur, helplessly.

This has made you mad and angry at life. There is always the what

if's, that you are beating yourself up for or thought your mind could

find a solution for but there wasn't any. You are dealing with guilt

and alot of stress. Things in your life seem so out of your control.

Watching others go through this suffering and pain and addiction is

not easy. It is all taking over your life. You are grieving your brother

and realizing you are also, deep down, already starting to grieve

for your mother even though she is still living, because you are

seeing her head in the same direction as your brother.

You are human. You see a wrong that you cannot make right.

You have no control over this situation or what is going to take

place because of it. You are placed in a situation that is

affecting not only your emotions but your physical health.

You feel like putting your fist through the wall.

This sounds crazy...but all you are feeling is quite normal.

You have to come to terms with this. You have to stand

back and see what you can control and what you cannot.

You have to be at peace with yourself and realize that

you cannot change what is actual taking place. It is

hard grieving a loved one...with any death there is

always the thought of what could be done differently or

what if I could of done more.

Life is what it is. We are human and we cannot rule

over all, like we want to. We have to learn to accept our

shortcomings and move on. Stress can cause your

unclear thinking because your mind is everywhere and

it is in the back of your mind...all the problems that

exist in your life that need resolved or bettered.

Take each day as it comes. Do what you can in each

day and accept that you did what you thought was

best and right. Count your blessing for the time you

did have to spend with your loved ones, even if not

all was happy. Be thankful that they were a part of

your life. Go slowly ahead and try to concentrate

much more on one thing at a time. When your

consciousness starts to drift onto other things...bring

it back into what you are doing at the moment by

telling yourself to think about other things later and

set a time when you can do that. Take frequent

breaks, even if it is a short time in the bathroom, to

close your eyes and try to relax.

I hope this has been of some help to you.

If you have friends, they might lend you an

ear to help you through all this.

Best wishes

Dear John

I'm a recovering alcoholic myself and I can tell you one thing： I only stopped when I was about to loose everything and everyone. And I have heard a similar story from many alcoholics. The urge to drink is so strong that you can't imagine a live without alcohol and as long as everyone supports you you think you can carry on like that- even though it makes you feel horrible. When my family told me they don't want to see or support me anymore unless I stopped I woke up and I stopped, but only after I had hurt a lot of people, lost jobs and so on. The only right thing you can do to help an alcoholic is turn away from them. Move out and tell your mum you don't want to see her again unless she is willing to seek help and stop drinking forever. If she agrees support her again.

Good luck!

Move on. Eventually you will have to do it, in the end everyone dies, be prepared and don't be weak minded. You can't make her change, it's ****** up. I know how you feel. But no matter what SHE has to make the change. Not you. Best of luck. Keep your head up!