do you have rules with family members and your kids?

I ask for no kisses because dental carries are caused by a bacteria that is spread by kisses (and sharing food) and baby teeth have soft enamel. I consider this reasonable, to ask for a kiss on the forehead or cheek (I also point out no kisses on the ear or in the ear as that can cause deafness.) We don't do dolls like barbie and such because I don't want my daughter imagining herself as an adult, I prefer the dolls to be child-age or baby-age. But I don't fight people over this.

Swinging around actually isn't that bad though, but if I was worried I'd just tell them.

However they have to go really beyond those requests of mine to make me mad. Things like swearing around my kids isn't even likely to have me ban them from my kids. Instead things like hitting my child, scaring them, or putting down their culture/family/our beliefs would be what is necessary. I mean, my child is not going to have long-term effects from someone slipping them a candy. I will voice my displeasure, but I'm not going to keep them from family for that because studies show the more family they have to turn to the more they will deal with stress effectively and it can help them in their lives in feeling confident. The loss of an aunt, uncle, or cousin over something as silly as a candy would be far greater than the damage from a piece of candy every week even.

In a situation like you're describing I would have said nothing, then later talk about a study about the dangers of kissing on the lips and mention how you limit kissing to the cheek or forehead, and leave it at that. Just brush teeth once Aunty is gone.

I have rules for how to treat my son. Those rules apply to anybody, including family. Nobody gets a free pass for being some kind of blood relation.

It's not rude to not want people to fly your kid in the air and then kiss him on the lips because it's YOUR kid. You need to start establishing yourself as the parent who always has the final say NOW, before you're stuck letting more things slide you fundamentally disapprove of.

I have to wonder why you found it necessary to "clean him off" after the sister kissed your baby on the lips. Is she carrying some sort of communicable disease or something? Would you have "cleaned him off" if your own mother had kissed him on the lips?

Rules are one thing, but family members swing babies around like that all the time, and babies seem to love it! Your baby is 9 months old and he can support his head, so he's in no danger. You will probably do the same thing with him yourself in the future. Don't get all pizzy and stress yourself out over nothing!

You could have just laughed and told them jokingly not to kiss the baby on the lips but on the cheeks.

You could also laugh and tell them you feel tense when they fly him on the air and ask them to play less exciting games.

I had discovered that if you are not tense , and if you can tell things smilingly, you don't hurt their feelings

This is better than a set of rules. .

Lots of congratulations for the baby.

EDIT

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I had chosen to close my eyes to many things my in laws did while raising my sons. They spoiled my sons, but children very quicky learn what to expect from different people. For example my sons never cried and asked me to take them out of their stroller( they knew I wouldn't) but they made my father in law carry them and push the stroller :) But I didn't mind many things I wouldn't do. What's better than to be loved for a baby?

If I felt very strongly about something then I would phone them and told them so. For example there were times I phoned my father in law to tell him not to buy a certain toy or give money to my older son. Because he knew that they would do anything he asked.

No, my family is pretty reasonable about how to behave around children. No rules needed.

It sounds like your family is pretty reasonable, too. You're being a tad bit overprotective.

They were playing and loving the kid. Your kid probably licks grosser things on a daily basis.

Congratulations on the first child.

Basic rules like no sugar after 8pm and no r rated movies. I also set rules for the parent to follow with their children while in my house. Example: my BIL and SIL came for Thanksgiving with their son. I put him on a strict diet and demanded that they follow it ( which caused them to hate me and my husband).

I'm particular about them NOT feeding my 11 month old sugary crap (they do it when I'm not around) like candy and sweets and just junk I don't want her to have. And I feel certain way about certain "dolls" I feel like a lot of them are influential so the "bratz" "monster high" dolls that dress inappropriate and are extremely skinny, I'm not comfortable with. My in laws generally don't respect me much so they don't see my daughter all that much when we have family functions. I don't think they should be aloud to play with My daughter if they can't have respect for the mother.