I feel like my life is falling apart? Any advice?

I am currently college student living with Sickle Cell anemia. I got into college and studied engineering, because it was the program I was in during my time in high school. After a good start in college, I began to struggle some of my classes, specifically Calculus II and General Chemistry. This was largely due to my laziness and partially due to me struggling in math classes since 6th grade. I failed Chemistry a second time due an unnecessarily anal teacher that I couldn't adjust to, but I passed all my other classes for that term and for my next semester.

Then, in fall of 2012, I was required to take 3 math classes and a lab due to my engineering major. I was en route to failing everything but the lab until I got diagnosed with gallstones. The surgery for the gallstones sucked but it gave me an opportunity to medically withdraw from all my classes and avoid the failing grades and loss of scholarship. I also took this time to switch my major. I had to switch to something that I already had some credits for, so I switched to Computer Science, since I had a mild to moderate interest in computers. I took classes in this major but still struggled with some of the math classes in this major, as well having some troubles with my Sickle Cell due to the stress.

I got through that I was once again forced to change my major by my scholarship sponsors to something with even less math and that I already had credits for. I got stuck in Information Technology and had to take 4 classes that summer, which I passed with mostly all C's. Then in the start of Fall I began the semester with a new motivation. But eventually I realized that disliked computer programming and database and was also told by a public speaker that IT was the weakest computing field at the school. I stuck around because I thought I could try and just get a degree and do something interesting, but I struggled in the computer programming class, and I also struggled get help for it because 1) the teachers offices hours were during my class and I had difficult time wording my questions in emails, 2) the computing tutors were really fast in referring me to a group of random students, that I did not know, to get answers to my questions, and those students were quick to refer me back to the tutor and/or ask me about my grades and make conversation instead and 3) trying to get help online didn't help too much because my problem was too specific and programming sites usually answered your question with another question.

But I remained optimistic because while I failed that programming class, I still got 2 A's and a B in my other 3 classes, so I wouldn't be kicked out of school. But I needed to figure out what I wanted to do. I decided that I was going to take a semester off. I began job and apartment searching to start off ( I currently live on campus now, but I was planning on movie out since I wouldn't have the money to stay anyway). I hesitated to tell my mom about this because I knew she would be opposed to my plans and has a tendency to be non-supportive at first. She yells at me and my brother like we're animals when we do something wrong and talking to her about anything can be the most stressful part of my day. I wanted to leave her out of my plans completely because it 's not like she has paid for any of my college funds (in fact, she has the majority of my refund check and spent it on the house and has ran up a credit card in my name). The only reasons I was going to tell her is because she wanted me to come home for the holidays, but if she reacted negatively I would had declined.

And that brings me to today. About a month ago during a check up my doctor said that I have a heart murmur. I had some testing done and today I got the results back. I have some type of problem with my heart valve that is causing moderate to severe leaking. It will require surgery to fix it, and I will have to go through some other testing as well, testing that I have to have done before the first of the year to avoid paying a deductible. I am 22 years old. The doctor said that it didn't have anything to do with my Sickle Cell, and that it wasn't passed down from my family. Just something I was born with. My mom wanted me to do it after I got out of school because she thinks I getting out with a year.

Upon getting back to my dorm I threw some stuff around and then lied down, where I cried for the first time since I was a child. If feels that every time I try to take control over my life, or try to get up in life, I get denied. I was excited about working a job and using my paycheck to pay rent because I would at least be getting started with my life. As a person suffering from sickle cell I know that I already have a shortened life span, so I wanted to get out into the real world away from the influences and expectations of my family. But now, I just don't how I can do anything.