How can I communicate with my dead friend?

Question

Recently, my friend passed away. He borrowed my entire porn collection which I store in a flash drive. I asked his family and no one knows where it is. I really don't wanna download all that porn anymore it's so tiring.

Should I get an ouija board or seance or something? Which works best? I also wanna tell him that he's a complete piece of chit. He was dying for 3 days and he never bothered to call to tell me where my porn collection is. Now I can't jack off and I get an erection wherever I go!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I've heard from a very reliable source that a Hasbro genuine ouija is not only the ultimate way to contact the inconsiderate dead, but with the new Ultra X Porn* attachment you can get your device to spell out many sordid messages, giving those that are unable to fantasise unaided instant relief.

*Available only at adult shops.

Dr. NG · Answer

I will add to a very sage answer from FU. Be sure to switch off Hasbro's factory installed parental control feature. As most Ouija users are 13 or less Hasbro has made the X-Porn attachment a little tricky to use.
The answer is Genuine Hasbro Ouija. Once you get your porn back be sure to wash your hands before going back to the ouija.

completed_01 · Answer

ok TROLL... I will TROLL tell you, where the TROLL jump drive TROLL is.... Steven said its behind your computer desk mr troll...
You need a medium or a psychic to contact him....mr troll

inteleyes · Answer

Hold in your hand something that was personal of his, and talk to him, if your serious, they it will work, be sincere and of heartfelt when communicating with him, he will feel what you feel.

? · Answer

I can't even... I don't... I've seen so much crazy/dumb/funny s*** on here, I can't even tell if you're serious.

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How can I communicate with my dead friend?

5 Answers