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Poem needs an update, any ideas?
The Broker
He walks chest out, slicing through humanity
like a ship through fog.
"Power walker" some say. He ignores them
or just doesn't hear, too busy working the market like a
Tom Smothers yo-yo.
Miles above him
computer terminal blue becomes copy paper white
transforming rapidly to US.Mint green, black.
Rain, wind-whipped, falls harder than the Nekai Average.
Stung by icy pellets, he clutches his umbrella
A sword.
He does not turtle into his overcoat;
will not rub his tender cheek,
refuses to acknowledge any power
greater than his.
1 Answer
- ?Lv 77 years agoFavorite Answer
Like a ship through fog is a rather cliche line and weaker then the rest in your poem - I would edit it out.
Source(s): Currently getting my MFA in poetry.