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David H asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 7 years ago

Poem needs an update, any ideas?

The Broker

He walks chest out, slicing through humanity

like a ship through fog.

"Power walker" some say. He ignores them

or just doesn't hear, too busy working the market like a

Tom Smothers yo-yo.

Miles above him

computer terminal blue becomes copy paper white

transforming rapidly to US.Mint green, black.

Rain, wind-whipped, falls harder than the Nekai Average.

Stung by icy pellets, he clutches his umbrella

A sword.

He does not turtle into his overcoat;

will not rub his tender cheek,

refuses to acknowledge any power

greater than his.

1 Answer

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Like a ship through fog is a rather cliche line and weaker then the rest in your poem - I would edit it out.

    Source(s): Currently getting my MFA in poetry.
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