Bible-based advice: Ongoing situation regarding my family, what is my Christian/spiritual responsibility?

It is very commendable of you to seek counsel from the Bible with this difficult decision. No better resource exists on the planet. Also an excellent scripture you selected to review, however it does not specify "once only." It may also be helpful for you to read Matthew 18:21-22, which does shows that we shouldn't limit the amount to times we forgive someone. Granted you didn't provide the details of your situation, so only you and the other family member know the severity of the incident which occurred 20 years ago. For example, taking the last slice of cake doesn't compare to stealing and wrecking someone's car. Depending on the incident, it may take someone a long time to be able to discuss it in a cooperative manner. If you have sincerely taken full responsibility for your part, and cannot be heard...some find it helpful to write and mail him/her a letter. That is one way to prevent interruptions and escalating emotions. Hope this helps.

It is difficult to say, because at times you have to stop "trying to beat a dead horse". However, in 20 years, sometimes people change. So, I would show myself "willing" to talk it over, but at this point, the ball is in their court.

Just remember an important thing here: Just because you have forgiven them, doesn't mean that you must "hang out" with them. I am saying that because there is a point when, either a friend of a family member and your relationship is almost beyond repair. I am saying "almost" because there is Always Hope where there is Godly Love; so we never give up. However, what doesn't straighten out in this system, will straighten out in the next.

‘Hatred is what stirs up contentions, but love covers over even all transgressions.’ (Proverbs 10:12) And the apostle Peter wrote that “love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Pet. 4:8)

I remember before you stating not to believe in a devil or demons but when you see all the sadness, family break-ups, crime, hatred and pain both emotional and physical, you can see the reality of the many scritpures that explain our world right now. 2 Tim. 3:1-5, 1 John 5:19

Read Matthew 18 several times. It is not easy, and even being

involved with a brother and admonishing him in a loving way can

incite backlash.

It also depends if you both are believers that Jesus is Lord and

God raised Him from the dead. If you both are SAVED, this

should be resolved.

The other issue to consider is....has he sinned against you.>?

If so, you have done all you can, but the next step is taking

two brothers or more to talk to him. I can tell you flat out that

Scripture and God's Word prevails in a godly way if biblical

principals are employed.

He has to be willing to make Amends as well.

Stand your ground. They know how you feel. No need to keep repeating yourself. Tell them that you no longer wish to talk about something that you've already addressed. Some people tend to drag out their issues and make them more dramatic than they really are. They are emotionally distraught about the problem and it has affected them so greatly. Be kind and compassionate but let them know that the issue can never be resolved if they can't move on from it.

You can think about it in first-century terms, or twenty-first-century terms. I recommend the latter: if this person is harming you emotionally and you have given it your best shot at stopping the harm, then yes, by all means, walk away. You are under no obligation to sit still while someone hurts you, whether physically or otherwise. Being a good and compassionate person doesn't mean being a punching bag.

Not given much of the background it's hard to say. However my savior taught that if you was not accepted to shake the dirt off your feet and leave. With that being said what does Bahá'í Faith teach?

Perhaps they are waiting for you to give something your not and were not giving them that, which is one of the causes of this event. Something you didn't want to admit maybe even to yourself.

I have seen that happen with several. They claim they tried to make up with someone yet they never gave them what they wanted- certain truths from them to make those amends, they only wanted to give what they wanted to give. Or handled it the way they want to handle it. To them that seemed enough. It isn't always.

Just a thought to think on. May apply in your case and it may not.

If you have forgiven this person - and requested his and God's forgiveness - then there is not much more than you can do.

This person appears to have not repented. Let God handle him. You step back.

See 'If it be possible..."

Rom 12:18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

According to Matthew 18:22 we are to "forgive up to seventy-seven times."

Someone asked how many times they should forgive people and if seven times was a good number. Jesus replied up to 77 times, but he actually meant that we should keep forgiving them and not have a cap on the number of times.

However, I don't think you are exactly asking if you should forgive your family member or not. You are asking how far you should go in interacting with them, is that correct?

I have actually had similar family problems. I simply can not allow myself to be around some family members because they will drag me down to their level. They have no desire to be good people and act fairly with me or others. So all I can do is limit my association with them.

One thing I remember reading in one of our Watchtowers is that if you have trouble with a person, Jehovah looks upon it favorably if you pray for them. Not like the Pharisee who prayed to God "Thank you that I am not like that tax collector" but kind, sincere prayers for their well being.

And also try to look very hard at yourself, to see if there is any way, that you could readjust your own thinking. I am by no means saying there is anything wrong with your own behavior. Not being party to what went on, I would never be that presumptuous.

But just in case there is room for any improvement on your own part, try to look at your own behavior. Pray to God about it as well.

Here are some things you could do, to soften the heart of your family member. The Bible says that when you are kind to your enemies, it is like "heaping fiery coals upon their head." Or like the expression, killing them with kindness.

I tried that with a couple people on this site, who had been hostile to me and it worked. I also tried it in my personal life and met with success.

You could always send them a card in the mail, saying you miss them, or some kind gesture.

When all is said and done, if you have done all in your power to reach the person, and it has bore no fruit, all you can do is give up and leave it in God's hands.

Sometimes I need to take my own advice, because I let some people vex me at times, and shouldn't let them have power over me like that. So answering your question, is helping me as well as you.