Most ridiculous excuse?

I saw this on cops this didn't actually happen to me but the suspect had blood on his shirt and the officer asked where it came from and the suspect said and I quote "I popped a zit". The officers had to laugh at that.

I've got 1 ....or ... 2 dozen good stories

For this telling I'll call them Max and Sam because we've got to change the names the the sake of the innocent as well as the guilty.

These two guys were in max lock down not for their crimes but because they were management priblems. Why they were in cells right next to each other was beyond me but as the Lieutenant liked reminded me if i mentioned it I wasn't in charge of housing assignments.

Well one day Max was brought to my office with the complaint that,, " Sam launched a weapon out his own bean hole and into my bean hole and it injuries my hip. I have a huge bruise." I requested to see it. Max was more then willing to drop his pants. Indeed there was a nice bruise about 6 hours old with a very distinctive hash mark in it. I asked the CO if the weapon had be retrieved yet as I was concerned what an O/F might have that could make the hash mark. The CO said it wasn't in Max's cell. Max spoke up saying, "it was a bombarang". I already know that impact site is 10 to 12 inch above a direct it entry throw the bean hole and is 8 ft between them. So I ask Max what he was doing when the weapon entered the bean hole. He tells me he was standing at his sink. I ask just to be totally clear if he was facing his sink. He relied,"yes". This meant the weapon would have after entering the bean hole curved around Max's body while curving up 10 to to 12 inches to hit him on the side away from the bean hole. Then according to Max the weapon was a bombarang and it returned to Sam.

Yeah well...

As it turned out Max had self inflected the wound in the recreational cage (that was on video) and made up the story about the bomarang to get Sam in trouble.

I am a cop. This is a true story: It was 22 July 2002 at 2pm. I was working speed patrol on I-10 west of Jacksonville. A corvette goes flying past me at 110 mph. I put on the lights and sirens and take off in hot pursuit. He then accelerates to 120, then 130, then 140, then 150. My car is fast, but not that fast, I am about to cancel pursuit when he slows down puts on his blinker and pulls over. I pull out my weapon as a precaution and have him exit the vehicle.

After checking him and ensuring no weapons. I tell him, "Sir my shift is almost over and I am about to take three weeks vacation. So if you can give me a really good reason why you were driving 40 mph over the posted speed limit and also why you accelerated to 150mph I will let you go with just a verbal warning, but this better be really, really good or I will have to take you to jail."

The motorist pauses, thinks and then states, "My wife just left me and I guess I had to blow off some steam."

"Sir, that's not good enough."

He continues, "She ran off with a Florida State Trooper."

"Sorry sir, still not good enough, although you have my condolences."

"Well I though you were bringing her back!"

I shook his hand and told him to keep it under 100. Then I went home and had a nice vacation. True story. All true.

my girl is in the hospital about to give birth i need to go