Is this good or bad? Criticize my writing!?

Society is messed up. I agree with you. Liberalism has been the cause over the last 40 years.

What you have installed in many of the urban cities are liberal policies and corruption, and what

I would call "Leveraged Chaos" - they are people that make their own misery 'your' problem

and take no responsibility for themselves. It's sad, because it's not all their fault- they had either

no parents of a single mother. Single motherhood has been and always will be an abject failure.

A child needs a Mommy and a Daddy (okay, homosexuals too though I don't agree with it, I can't

stop it) but you know what Liberals? You have ruined this country. Traditionalism, with all it's

flaws, actually worked. Sure there were problems and unfairness that needed to be corrected,

and I guess I need to credit liberals for pushing that ken, but they have gone way to far, and

now you see our country, at least in some cities, in chaos. We need a conservative president,

but 50% of folks are so immersed in dependence on government and class warfare and hatred

to white guys like me, who only love there country and want all to prosper--- they just don't

buy it, so I see that lady Clinton winning, and the country will continue to suffer big time.

I can feel how passionate you are about how harsh society and a lot of people can be. It is good social commentary but the tone is maudlin. Is it well written? Despite the structural flaws in punctuation it is compelling and articulate. A little polishing and this will be a solid piece.

Suggestions for corrected/improved text ( editing, punctuation. )

We live in a society where people will tell you not to smile, then make fun of your frown.

Tell you to stop eating, then call you anorexic.

They will call you frigid for being a virgin, then call you a slut if you're not.

They will tear you apart then wonder why you're broken.

It doesn't matter how many calories you eat, what color you hair is, or who your parents are:

Society will still find a way to tear you down.

Popularity comes from how many people you can put down to make yourself look better.

Confidence comes from how many likes you can get on Instagram.

And beauty comes from how high you can push your boobs up.

Today's society is so ****** up that people can't even feel good about themselves without breaking someone else. [ if you are going to use a precision strike f-bomb, spell it out, it will have the kind of disenchanted punch you want to aim for.]

And even when society wins, when society pushes someone so low, it doesn't stop there.

They will tell you that the smile you use to cover up your pain isn't perfect enough.

The scars hidden underneath your sleeve will be looked upon as a way of getting attention.

And people will call you selfish as you leave that last note.

This is the world we live in today.

I agree with your sentiments, sadly enough. Society can be exactly as you have expressed it. It can be many other things as well. It's a matter of perspective, I think, and depends a lot on your own personal experiences and/or observations. Everyone has a different vantage point ~ good, bad or ugly, and it can be difficult to relate to something you have never known, for better or worse. Many will relate to this, in my opinion.

These lines are especially powerful...

"and even when society wins, when society pushes someone so low, it doesn't stop there. they will tell you that the smile you use to cover up your pain isn't perfect enough. the scars hidden underneath your sleeve will be looked upon as a way of getting attention. and people will call you selfish as you leave that last note."

What are you writing this for? It's a bit improper to use cuss words. It's obvious that you haven't used any capital letters, but you surely know that yourself. As for the writing it's kind of cliché, we've all heard those quotes a hundred times on social media already, it's a bit unoriginal. It's also a bit much of finger pointing, you claim it's society's fault, which might be true, but it's as if you fail to recognize that you're a part of it as well, so it's a bit unlikeable that you use "People will call you" "They" etc. Hey you're a part of society as well!

Hello Ryan dear, your feeling is quite right. We are dependent. No doubt. But at the same time there is not surety from the society to get the needed help. So it is not that much necessary to give ears to society. We live on our own legs and with our own hands. We have true love within and we do good to them at least. We won't, in any way, give trouble to others. So be cheerful and live the life in your own honest and lovable way. All the best dear

You might begin with a capitalised `W`, and

not use the word, `down, twice so closely together.

I can echo these sentiments...and also, a times, those of caz..

for it is hard for people who are pushed , to make you smile

and yes, there are times when all one does gets criticised;

So...be who you are... you can be no other.And - YOU ARE JUST FINE.

You might break this down into paragraphs

and

even

re - make it into free verse?.So it is more poetry than much - supported monologue?

Most of us here are with you on this, so try your hand more

with some sparks of poem hurled in..with fire!

LOL :)

Lapiz

it's pretty ok but seems kind of monotnous. Maybe you could avoid using the same sentence structure (like maybe a paragraph break every once or twice) and instead of saying like {popularity...confidence... beauty..} if u use that kind of repetition once it's okay but for a whole paragraph it might be a bit too much. You could also instead of saying it outright making it less "outright" by saying things in a more descriptive manner

How many times in your life have you meat someone who makes you smile ?

These are the people you want to keep in your life.. the rest you need to kick to the curb.. Most of the time life is a B*ch and it's the B*TCHES that make us miserable 'Now then, always remember that the people who make you unhappy, are normally very small minded and jealous people .

your heat felt poem is really good Ray is just one of those jealous people I'm talking about .. :) .. Keep showing your poetry :) Nice one :)

Shall we disguss the way it's written or it's content? I agree with Elizabeth's offering and be who you are. But, use capitalization and commas...

Content is raw and real, but the punctuation is non-existent. You've got the meat, but no one will eat it unless the presentation is appetizing.