How hard is it to run a train?

I've ran with some engineers that couldn't even run a Lionel Train around a Christmas tree. I told a dispatcher that once... didn't go over too well. They don't seem to take constructive criticism that well.

My record so far is five knuckles on one coal train. That engineer was lucky we aren't allowed to carry handguns.

Good to see you again Bob. How's the book coming along? And I hate to say this but I may be furloughed soon so you might see a dip in the retirement checks. Don't worry I'm working nonstop right now.

Also Bob, there's only two types of braking I need to worry about. One involves a shiny red handle, I also make sure to polish it up with a clorox disinfecting wipe. It makes it even more shiny. The other type of brake is on a railcar that spins around and around.

Howdy Bob! How you been doing? I know the answer to those, but in the interest of fun I won't answer. As for # 6, we can't do that anymore with the computer controlled systems. Luckily dynamiters are pretty rare now.

Edit Sheeesh Who's Awesome.5 knuckles in one trip? That's either a horrible engineer or a mechanical problem with the air. In 39 years i've gotten 7 knuckles. One (maybe 2 ) were my fault due to crappy train handling. I was taught by some of the best and have always been proud of my train handling skills. I run heavy undulating and 1 to 2% grade territory. Learn that well and you can run anything anywhere. All it takes is paying attention. Hope you avoid furlough. My son has a 2011 date and it's not looking good for him either. The economy is in a big slump.

1.The three stages are Stage 1, Stage 2, and Stage 3.

2. Bad news is news that is bad.

3. At equal pressure.

4. We see that when people put the letters t-h-a-t together.

5. Accelerated service release is the opposite of decelerates service release. It does it because it can.

6. Of course...

7. That is the amperage that assures the control of slack.

8. Or else the cards won't be signed off.

9. Because we like to.

10. Splat.

I can't drive a train, but I probably could deflect questions well enough to get elected.

Welcome Back

We all know how easy it is to steer a train.?

It's not my place to run the train

The whistle I can't blow.

It's not my place to say how far

The train's allowed to go.

It's not my place to shoot off steam

Nor even clang the bell.

But let the damn thing jump the track

And see who catches hell.

Blame the conductor is always the way to go.

10 Blood does not make much noise splashing off the Pilot Plow.

If blowing the horn you cannot hear the thud of flesh splattering.

have to ask an actual engineer