Do you lose your sense of self while having children?

You can't be selfish and be a parent. Being a parent means putting your child's needs before you every time. If you normally get your hair dyed once a month, but you need to pay for dance classes, you pay for dance classes and hope those roots don't show. There a numerous sacrifices, big and small that you make for your children.

Also, it is much better going into having kids with the mentality "I want to be a better version of myself and I am open to change" rather than "I am stubborn. My way or the highway. I refuse to change".

You might not be cut out to be a parent. That is fine, not everyone is.

I did not lose my self having kids I was changed of course because some one else had to come first. But I lost myself in allowing myself to be abused I knew I was not in a good place but stayed because I had no self esteem. I was told I was worthless and began to believe all I could do was stay home and be a mom I would have been much better off leaning and growing into being a mom that could support a child on my own. so I guess I did not really answer your question.

You will change, but that doesn't mean you can be ONLY a parent any more. You add to your personality, you don't have to lose who you are.

And you actually CAN be selfish and be a parent, at least some of the time. I'd actually recommend it. When you take care of your own emotional needs, that recharges you to be a better parent.

Well, after having my kids I changed, yes. My world views were no longer the same. And it was not a bad thing, it actually was very comforting to know I have people in my life who love me forever! Parenting has ups and downs, I read a lot if books to do things right..I have no regrets, and would yes do it all over again! I can't imagine 'not' having kids. How shallow snd empty I would feel.

"Who I am" and my "sense of self" includes my values and experiences around interacting with other people -- including with my children.

Everybody changes and is impacted by their relationships with other people, whether you have kids or not. If you stayed static forever, that would be a much bigger concern.

You become more yourself when you have a child. You don't lose yourself. You'll still be happy and will not lose your personality. I promise.

You don't lose yourself just because there's someone important in your life. Duh.

no.