Should I feel obligated to babysit for family?

If it helps, you've only made one mistake here, and it's a big one! You've been trying too hard to be "nice", out of a fear of appearing selfish. The part you're subconsciously missing is that it is incredibly entitled for any parent to assume someone else "should" take care of their kid. Your cousin and her mom are trampling boundaries here.

It doesn't matter that they're family. In fact, this can make it worse. Tell them no, it won't be possible and then drop it. Once you start defending or explaining or apologizing, you just give people like this more ammunition to work with. You don't owe anyone an explanation for how you spend your time.

not at ll it is better to not get started they will end up wanting you to bathe the child and have it ready for bed. NO NO NO your own children come first. Do you not want to be the potty trainer or the terrible two trainer. Don't feel badly just don't get started . You are not responsible for the other child after school either. You need to get that monkey off your back so you can focus on your own kids. Give them an out date say after Thanksgiving break you will be unavailable to watch the other child. Then don't. If she gets off the bus at your home take her back to the school and say you are no longer the babysitter. They will soon get the idea. Sorry to be blunt but some people just don't get that they are infringing upon others lives.

No, you're not selfish. For that matter, you can tell them you will no longer watch their older child either. No one can take advantage of you without your permission.

So, you have some choices:

1. Decide to keep things the way they are.

2. Decide not to watch either child.

Either way, you should say to them, "I have been saying "no" to this for an entire year now. We are no longer going to keep having this conversation. The answer is no, the answer will continue to be no. If you keep trying to have this conversation, I will leave until you feel better, or I will hang up the phone, or I will block your emails and texts." And that's it. No more. If they bring it up again, you say goodbye and leave or hang up.

Don't make excuses, don't explain. It's your life.

Oh, and notice how your cousin's mom is asking you to do the thing that she doesn't even want to do?

If your cousin doesn't want to take care of kids, she should stop having kids, not looking to offload her children on you.

But really, you're allowed to say you don't want to watch the older child either.

Tell them no. You have a job and responsibilities during the day. Family will hunt down any free care they can find. Don't be a doormat. Your job is to care for your children and

manage your household. Let them know that you have no interest in doing child care.

And if you are not OK with the older child after school, tell them that too. And tell the school your home is not a drop off spot for that child.

no, you should not feel obligated.

whether i'd do it anyway would depend on how real the need was. if she's desperate for free childcare because otherwise she can't keep a roof over her and her child's head, i'd do it: i can't imagine ever regretting helping a family member who was truly in need. if it's not at that level, and you don't want to do it, don't. (and by all means speak up and say it's utterly disrespectful of your family for her to send her child to you on the bus without even asking you.)

You should only feel obligated if they do favors of a similar magnitude for you in return. Which doesn't seem to be the case. So you don't owe them anything and you don't need to defend yourself for that choice either. They are asking for a favor, not something that you owe them, and you are free to turn them down.

No, you are not selfish. I am also a SAHM and have been in this position as well. I tried to help out friends and family, but it never ends well with this situation. They always find a way to take advantage and always just figure "you're home anyways" as an excuse. Stay firm and continue to say no.

You should never feel obligated to watch someone else's child.

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No, people should plan ahead before having kids.

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