Why is it as if I have a one way ticket to hell, Ending in death?

I cant get off of this ride, its funny how out of the billions of years before this life, It seemed so easy for me. I wake up every day and my first thought is death, then I think "no not again! Not another day here!". I just cant escape myself... i cant escape death... id enjoy the ride but it is mostly painful.... does life only continue to get worse before death? What type of sick evil is this world consumed by? If I didn't fear death, I would already be dead.... but it is not avoidable... i cant believe this is happening.. why does any of this temporary stuff matter in the least to me?