Tell me a joke..?

What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? The taste!

What's the difference between the girl's track team and a group of pygmies? One's a cunning bunch of runts...

“A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks to the panda, and they go back to her place. After having sex, the panda abruptly leaves. The next night, the woman goes to the panda's house. "You owe me money," she says. "For what?" The woman rolls her eyes and explains, "I'm a prostitute." The panda pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money." The panda says, "I don't have to pay you. I'm a panda. Look it up." She is about to protest when the panda hands her the dictionary. The woman looks up "panda" in the dictionary, and it reads, "Panda: Eats bush and leaves.”

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Ya

Ya who?

No not yahoo you dumbass, that's a website!

I just turned 288 months.

🎶 Sweet dreams are made of cheese

Who am I to diss a Brie 🎵

This guy goes to the cheese store. He looks at all the cheeses. He picks one out and asks, "Will you cut the cheese?" The clerk says, "Sure. Will you buy something then?"

Is uranus the most important thing in your life?