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How can I stop having a bad attitude?
I'm a 14 year old girl, and I have such a bad attitude. I have a really good personality, I get along with everyone. When I'm mad, it's a whole different story. I notice this problem only with my dad and 2/5 of my siblings. The others I am fine with. I feel bad, because I know this isn't me. It might be because I'm a teenager, and the people I give attitude to normally start the problem first, but I've never seen my friends act the way I do. I have a perfect life too. A beautiful house, loving and close family, happiness, etc. My siblings never had an attitude like I do, according to my parents. I don't realize I'm giving attitude until after it happens. I've tried stopping so many times and focusing on my tone and words but it fails. People view me as an angel, because believe me I really am a good person, I'm good at controlling my anger around everyone except for family. I feel bad for giving attitude to my parents, but mostly my dad because he's such an amazing person and cares for everyone. My mom I normally don't give attitude to, because...well I really don't know. I just never have a reason to I guess. I always apologize for my behavior to everyone I freak out on. My parents say they understand and it's just because of the age I'm at now, they also tell me endlessly I'm an amazing person with such a good heart, and that I'll change eventually, but I want to change now though because they don't deserve to here me raising my voice at them.
2 Answers
- Anonymous4 years ago
Where do I start.
Your "attitude" is nothing more than an unwillingness to face your own uncomfortable emotions.
And this is caused by a lack of skill in taking ownership of your emotions.
So when hurt gets triggered you freak out and try to mask it with anger. Which means that you have to find someone to blame . and you get mad at THEM.
Yes, it IS you.
It is also 97% of the entire population of the 7-billion people on earth. At least, how we START out in the first 20 or so years of our life .. until/unless we start figuring out how to face and work out our feelings.
You say you are not like this with others.
This is because you are not AS CLOSE to others .. your life is not merged with them like it is with your family, so it is easier to not be as bothered, hurt, or threatened by what they do as it is with your family.
But here's the scary part. How you are with our family .. this is how you will be with your husband, except MORE so.
Because you put so much more of yourself (and your self-worth) into your marriage than into your friendships and family. And because your life is SO much more affected by what your spouse does.
So the anger with your family . amplify it, and that is what your marriage will look like.
Unless you learn how to master your emotions.
Everyone is a good person, but no one is an angel.
We all have emotions and selfish needs, and we try to balance those out with what others need too. And we all have trouble with our emotions . .it is just you don't notice it in others until you grate with them. And the closer you get, the more grating there is .. especially with a spouse once the "honeymoon" delusion has faded out.
- Anonymous4 years ago
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