Christians & Others: At the end of your life wouldn't you rather die at home instead of hospice where I don't know anyone?

As some have said, I don't want to be a burden on some friend or family member. Home hospice would definitely put a burden on someone I love. Yesterday I saw a friend in a VA home and he could not do anything but hurt. He could hardly talk and he was "skin and bones" and not move, so he had to have constant care. That would be very difficult at home.

You can have hospice at your home. We had a couple living with us and the wife was on hospice for 4 years and then her husband got sick and he was on it for about 6 months. Hospice comes out three times a week for a bath, and a nurse comes out once a week. Rachel was on a catheter and so they took care of that and all her meds. When we needed respite they took car of taking her to a facility and back. When they passed they took car of calling the funeral home to come get them. Hospice also provided a hospital bed, lift chair and table.

Why wouldn't we take advantage of all that help?

Rachel was on two different hospices--she loved the one that had their own facility--she wanted to hang out there because they gave her pecan pie and I wouldn't. (she is insulin diabetic).

You don't have to be in a facility on hospice. You can be at home. Also, depending on how bad a person is, or living situation, people at the end of life need special care. We were able to hire someone to help out--I could not do it by myself. Rachel was in a hoyer lift, which meant every time I needed to change her diaper, she had to be put into bed and she was not light weight either. I was more thankful when she was on diapers than when I had to get her onto a commode (I had 4 years of this).

You seem to be judging people for putting someone in a home or something.

My Aunt works in a nursing home and when we took in John and Rachel she said don't do it, its too much. The Lord overruled and we had help. My mom took care of my dad until she couldn't (he spent the last 2 weeks in the hospital unconscious) He was 24/7 care before that with brain damage from brain bleeds. My mom had heart attacks from taking care of him and came down with Shingles and Lyme from the stress. My sister and I live 1K miles away and run farms that keeps us tied down. She had some help, but wanted to do it by herself. I told her to put Dad in a home before it killed her.

Many times the caregiver dies before the patient in those situations--

Christians & others , at the "END OF YOUR LIFE " wouldn't you rather die at "HOME" instead of "HOSPICE" where I don't Know anyone ? ...

...HOME is a PLACE , Home is NOT PEOPLE one is ASSUMING HOME means FAMILY or RELATIVES that live with you .... Many people Live ALONE or Family live distances away or have their own homes children work or lives

if one is talking about HOSPICE CARE today hospice care NEED NOT mean at a specialized facility The CARE is provided at a place of their choosing and IS most often the persons HOME .... And when provided in a FACILITY FAMILY are NOT RESTRICTED from being present , But actually Encouraged .

Hospice care does not ONLY FOCUS on the ILL but the WHOLE family's needs and provide support ....

.. Actually personally I prefer CONTROL of my status and WILL seek out an ASSISTED SUICIDE STATE

as for STATS of the top 10 causes of death

# 1 is HEART DISEASE.... which can be prolonged or SUDDEN

# 2 Cancer

# 3 Chronic Respiratory

# 4 Is ACCIDENTS which are SUDDEN

.# 8 is INFLUENZA / Pneumonia which can be very SUDDEN a few days . ..

.... so is the ISSUE NOT DYING ALONE so if your in Hospice CARE it means the care giver has been with you a While they are not a Stranger

. Sometimes when people are dying they find family actually ANNOYING and a STRAIN , because they have to contend with the families ANXIETY and poor coping skill

. studies have found many Hospice care patients prefer DYING alone because the HOOPLA of Family poor Coping skills are Stressful for them they can not provide a solution for the family because Reality is they are going to die , THEY have ACCEPTED that REALITY they can not change that .... its families that have a difficulty accepting that reality

. in 40 years of Nursing I have seen at least 10.000 people DIE ......

.. The BEST response I heard was from my own AUNT to her SISTER ( my mother )

My mother was putting it on THICK Crying carrying on

making My AUNT'S dying NOT about my AUNT'S distress

but about my MOTHERS DISTRESS ..

My aunt who i always found to be a strong person and who i admired and always had an accurate insight into people and their personalities

, turned to my mother and said

" What the Hell are you CRYING about I am the one dying NOT YOU

. My DEATH is NOT about YOU its ABOUT ME , you will still be alive tomorrow being all about yourself .........so SHUT it ............. Bravo to my aunt

the reality is we all die ALONE because we do not take anyone else with us

, unless your in an accident . "WE " die its INDIVIDUAL one minute we are alive the next we are not ........ others WATCH us die ..... to view others grief and ANXIETY and not being able to do anything about it isn't CONSOLING to the person dying

. it may give some assurance they will be missed but when your dead how does that matter

I want to be with people I know, but I trust that if I were dying in a hospice care center, they would be there keeping me company.

I'd rather die in my own home unless I require the kind of medical care that someone in hospice care needs.

it would be great but things don't always work out for those that are dogs, for saints maybe, for those that didn't abuse themselves with drugs and other vices, that became poor of both spirit and finance.

if you want to have a good place to die, then save your money and budget for a funeral and for a place to stay.

Again, no I don't want to be a burden

NO: I do not want to be a burden on anyone when I check out!