My friend attempted suicide?

You need to put those thoughts far from your mind, especially considering why you were behaving the way you were. It truly takes a very selfish person to do what he done knowing that you were possibly being how you were because of your cousin. And to add insult to your grieving he attempts suicide on the date of your cousin's death no less. I know that what I've said might pain and open up possibly more emotions than you'd care for right now, but I honestly believe you needed to hear from someone that's not without empathy for how you're feeling, but isn't connected to your dilemma. You owe no one any apologies, if anyone does it's your so called friend. Did this friend actually stop to think about how this would all affect you had he got his wish and actually died, no. It was not your fault and the sooner you come to terms with that the better. Being the person that everybody relies on is a huge burden that one never asked for, but that doesn't give people the right to mock or abuse our loyalty to them. I know mock might sound a little cold but that's just my honest feelings re his timing. I wish you the very best and hope that you'll soon find peace as none of this is your fault at all.

Geez, HE tried to commit suicide, and it was not because you did not text him back or call him. Not your fault. He is responsible for his own actions. Not you. So quit the guilt party and just try and be supportive of him. But don't accept any blame for what HE did.

It is not all your fault, don't beat yourself about it too much, you can't change the past but the future is in your hands. anyway, your friend is still alive and still needs help so be there for him and help him get trough this tough period. Good luck.