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I was dating a girl from mid Sept until the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Everything was going well so I decided to introduce her to my friends the first weekend in Nov. I picked her up and we met up at a brewery in town (not a place you get wild). Everything is going well. My friends to like her and she seems to like them. We left since it was nearly closing time and went back to her apartment and watched a show. After that we were talking and I asked her what her expectations were with dating and (order may be off) said I'd like her to be my gf. She then told me she was previously engaged to a guy she dated from high school up until a year and a half ago. She dated him for 10 years+ since we're later 20's. She told me she'd definitely like to move things forward but not put a label on things which I said was okay. Before I left for the night I asked her if she'd like to come to a Friendsgiving and she said definitely with a huge smile. We were still texting and talked via phone a few times and things seemed okay for about a week then she starts to be weird. The day before Thanksgiving I get a text "You're a really run guy. I'm not as sure as I thought I was to start dating. I don't want to waste your time" 2hrs later I get "Hope I didn't upset you. Thought you should know" I message back "Things seemed off since you when home last weekend. Did something happen. I'm sure it was difficult to open up about being engaged last time we saw each other." What should I do?

??? · Answer

She doesn't want a serious relationship. She sees that you do, so she's backing out. It's not because you've done another wrong. You two are just in different places in life, and she's smart enough to know it won't work out. I'm sorry. The only thing there is to do in this situation is respect her decision and stop following up.

? · Answer

Do you mean "You're really a fun guy?" The key question is whether or not she's a strong woman.

A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), displays a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), gives their best effort, and demonstrates self-control (of their body, anger, mouth and money).

My suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already), forget about this girl unless she’s a strong person, and eventually look for this type of girl (otherwise you’re setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of woman is difficult to find - but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.

(Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)

Hope this helps!

PS Strong men attract strong women like magnets (as well as weak women - so be careful). The best way to get to know a strong woman without dating is to participate in the activities of a community service or a school organization.

samiamrd · Answer

Let it go.  Its time to move on.  You should not dwell on this.  If she wants to be with you, then she would be with you.  What ever happened with her, does not matter to you.  Just say: "thank you for your time, you had fun".  That's it.  she could take that a lot of ways, but at this point almost 3 weeks later, she is looking at something else or returning to that goofball that kept her tied up for a decade.  Either way, you don't want her.

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Very Confused with this dating question?

3 Answers