do you panic when the pizza delivery guy arrives?

Only when i havent ordered puzza.

No

I haven't ordered a pizza in close to 20 years

No, I don't

Only when they arrive at the door, and I suddenly realize, oops, I don't have any cash. That's only happened once, but I frequently dream about it.

Yeah. That cheap weed makes me SOOOO paranoid.

No my caretakers answer the door

Last Halloween night I forgot it was Halloween because I don't have kids and I stopped trick or treating at age 34. I ordered a pizza on hallowwen night and I do not have a phone and no doorbell for the pizza boy to get a hold of me when he arrived. So I waited outside my home after ordering the pizza, and some trick or treaters came by expecting candy from me. So I decided to hand out cash instead to keep them happy and not look like a jerk. It was all good until the pizza guy came, and I realized I gave my pizza money to all the kids. The pizza guy did not buy my story and throw the pizza onto my head.

Only when l can't find my pants

No why?

No I don't. As I'm walking to the door and under my breath I usually say, "It's about effing time. What took so long?"