SO CONFUSED!!! Why does he still care to talk to me?

Question

My boyfriend and I (he's 26 and I'm 25) dated for a year. We were in a long distance relationship and we were committed. His parents were never accepting of our relationship though. I was told the timing that was wrong/ his parents didn't think this was going to work out because of the distance between us and that he needs at least a year or two of job experience before thinking about such a commitment, so we broke up 3 weeks ago. Luckily I was able to meet and spend time with his siblings and I was able to see him graduate from med school last month and spend it with his family. Dating isn't allowed in our religion so the fact that he brought me over to meet his family was a big step for the both of us and really showed how serious he was! He told me that he didn't tell his parents we broke up because he wants to still try to make this work although he said no promises. We still text every so often and actually the other day we texted all night long, just talking and he told me he still wants to stay in touch every so often. I asked him that night if he still thought there was hope in us ever and he said "I honestly done see it working out. Im sorry. I really want it to but the chances are very slim. I still love you and always will. I'll bring this topic up again to my parents when the time is right but don't want to drag you along. It's not fair for you. Only time will tell". He actually texted me last night too asked about me and my vacation, which was really nice of him

Anonymous · Answer

Honey, you've posted five questions all asking the same thing.

He has told you he won't go against his parents' wishes.

You're just not willing to face facts.  Would you defy your parents to stay with someone? It's not likely, is it?

Just because he loves you, doesn't mean he'll leave the safety of his parents' home to be with you.  He's said that's not going to happen.

I'm widowed, so I'm old enough to believe people when they tell me who they are. 
I love all kinds of people I'd never marry.. There were men who lived too far away.  Men who were alcoholics. Some wanted children (I didn't) The wrong religion.  Your ex loves you, but he either loves his parents more, or he values their opinion so much he won't go against them.

You can post the same story five more times, or ten or twenty. Nothing. Will. Change. Or you can mourn what will never be, dry your tears, and look toward the future like a grown woman.  You didn't spend a lifetime together, it was a year. You were only together a handful of times. Since in your religion your parents have to approve of your choice, tell your parents to start looking for an appropriate husband for you.

I'm guessing from your obsession over this, that this man was your first and you're no longer a virgin? Keep your mouth shut. Your next boyfriend needn't know.

I would, if I were you, cease contact with your ex, It isn't helping you, it's just re-opening the wound every time the two of you talk.   You can't heal this way. You can't move forward when you're in this much pain.

Your boyfriend is being manipulative.  If he **truly** loved you, HE would stop calling you, be willing to look like the coward he is, and leave you alone to heal.  he's not doing that, is he?  It's time to look at him as he is: he won't marry you, but he doesn't want you to be happy.  Not a nice guy.

Anonymous · Answer

I don’t see this moving forward. The dude is in another state AND at age 26 he still has to listen to his parents lol

Anonymous · Answer

I'm sorry, but I don't get why a young man that is a quarter of a century old is allowing his parents to dictate to him what he can and cannot do in his life. All I know is that if I told a girl that I loved her, I would prove it by doing whatever I had to for us to be with each other. Him saying all those nice things are just words. When you open up a beautifully wrapped gift, shouldn't there be something in the box? His words are like that, just an pretty box that is empty!

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SO CONFUSED!!! Why does he still care to talk to me?

3 Answers