If you took a throw-in in soccer and the ball went straight into the net, without any touches, would the goal count?

No , if a defender threw it into his own net it would then be a corner kick to the attacking team. 

And if he threw into the goal his team were attacking it would be a goal kick to the defending team 

No. You can't score a goal from a throw in.

No.

A throw-in is done to put the ball in play on the pitch. A thrown-in that goes to the goal will not count because the ball didn't go into play.

No. I think someone has to touch it first but it would be one hell of a throw to be able to throw that far using two hands.

No, a goal may not be scored from a throw in.