How do i get rid of low self esteem and negative thoughts?

Question

I like to take care of myself, but i dont belief i am a handsome man.
But when i go outside, to work for example and i look at a reflection of my self i look ugly and sick.
I dont know why but it is pretty strange.
When someone and i are mad at each other i feel like he is in his right.
I takes 3 or more days to finally realize i was right, but most of the time it is already to late.
My mind doesnt make my feel confortable around other people.
When i am talking to someone my mind is blank.
It is like i am acting all the time, so that means it impossible to make friends or to get a girlsfriend.
But when someone is not smiling all the time when i am trying to talk to them it is almost like my mind is kicking me.
But when i make a joke and someone is laughing hard, the first second i feel like he is laughing at me.
But a second later i realize he was just laughing. 
And that is really frustrating.
Professional help doesnt work.
This are just a few examples, i hope you can help me

Patricia · Answer

I think you could work on your sense of self-esteem?  There is a lot of information online for self-esteem self-help.  The key to it all is to take what you learn and apply them to your daily life, a bit at the time.  Do this over the long-term.  See how it goes.

I'm sure you're a great person.

And if you're interested in dating, then you can also do some research about how to meet women, how to talk to women, etc.  You can find help for anything you need online.

Professional help does work, when a person is interested in making positive life changes and is willing to do the work it takes to come to changes in their lives.  It doesn't happen overnight.  It takes effort, just like everything else.

If you wanted a brand new car, wouldn't you have to do the work it took to get that car?  You'd have to save for it over time, most likely.  Or you'd have to put effort in to get a loan and sometimes you'd have to have a down payment first.  So yes, everything we truly want to change or acquire in our life, does take a bit (or a lot) of work.

You can do it.  Take care

Qidong Jiangsu · Answer

meditation
self forgiveness

L. E. Gant · Answer

Follow the five basic rules....

(1) Do the best you can with what you've got at all times.

(2) Always keep your word -- don't make promises you can't or have no intention of keeping

(3) Make no assumptions -- or at least be prepared to change the assumptions you do make

(4) Never take anything as personal. Even if other people seem to mean the worst. In other words, you are NOT the centre of the universe

(5) Have no regrets. Oh, you can be sorry for things you do wrong, but regrets lead to guilt, which....

If you look at what you wrote above, you're constantly breaking rule #4, with a bit of breaking rule #3.

Oh, and what those giving "professional help" are trying to do is get you to ignore the five rules. It they really gave you help, they'd be gearing your internal language to match the rules!

Anonymous · Answer

Dude dont give me ur pouting self sorrow having ***, making people feel sympathy for you. This world is too cold to even care about your self pity having ***. The only person that can care about you is you. May sound harsh but I'm telling you for ur good bro. I been like you before and it got me nowhere. I realized I had to only depend on myself and be my own friend. I eventually found myself. I'm not saying I'm happy today. But I'm content and I learned to accept myself the way it is. Hope u take my advice man. Peace

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How do i get rid of low self esteem and negative thoughts?

4 Answers