Is this good for asking a girl out?

Question

So I haven't asked anyone out in over 3 years, and that relationship was a disaster, and affected my mental health for some time afterwards. Anyway now I am at uni and there is a girl I quite like, and want to ask her out on a date. We have been shipped by people, I have kissed her on the cheek twice, I put my arm around her and she rested her head on my shoulder, and later on people legitimately said she likes me and not in the joking shipping way they have been doing.

I am **** at asking people out altogether, and rarely do it, primarily in fear of being rejected and also out of fear of appearing creepy. But somehow have mustered the courage to this point to ask her out, and am freaking out about it a little, not the point of the question but I am open to relaxation ideas. But I plan on asking her out over messenger, I would do it in person but we are in two separate cities right now as she has gone home for the holidays, and I want to ask her sooner rather than later. Is this what I have put ok for such?

After the Christmas holidays, would you like to go and do the castle walk with me, and get something to eat as well, as a date?

I don't want to change the idea of what I am doing for the date, but I welcome ideas for how it could flow better.

Patricia · Answer

Well, first of all, you seem to have expectations for an instant committed relationship with someone after you go out with them once.  I'm not 100% sure but this is how i see it.

Dating is the process to get to k now someone, and sometimes, after one date, we are done and move on. Other times, we are interested and we will try it for a while to see if we are compatible.  Sometimes we are, other times we are not. Dating is a "game of chance".  But it's what we do to find a potential life partner, or someone we can depend upon in the long-term.

There's no guarantee that, if we go out with someone, that things will last.

If your last relationship affected your mental health then you either put up withBullshit way too long, or you had unrealistic expectations.  Which was it?  Stop doing that stuff and take things one day at the time.

k w · Answer

how about asking if she'd just like to get a coffee, and have a talk, sometimes our fantasies overdrive reason, and a nice talk with them will usually do it......

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Is this good for asking a girl out?

2 Answers