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My mother hates me when she's drunk?

If just one person takes the time to read my dilemma and has any sort of advice, it would mean the world to me. My mom is a sweet woman that will do anything she can to help the people. She cooks, cleans, and does everything a stay-at-home mom would do. We have a pretty good relationship, except for when she drinks. 

She is not an alcoholic by any means. She doesn't drink every day. She'll drink a few nights in a row here and there when she wants to destress or just have a good night. But when she drinks, she goes out of her way to find me, and only me. She will then unload everything on me. She accuses me of things, screams her head off, and taunts me to try and physically fight her. She has always been bad at communicating with me, but it's worse when she's drunk/buzzed.

There is no getting through to her, no silence, apology, hearing her out, ignoring, etc. will do the trick. When she's mad, she says awful things to me and screams until I yell back, and when I finally do stand up for myself, she acts like I attacked her, like she's the victim. Then she gets physical and taunts me for not fighting her back. 

Does anyone know why she might act this way towards me? I have two older brothers who don't experience this behavior from her. I'm the only child she trusts. I help her around the house and run her errands. And I am the only child who has some sort of relationship with her, so I cannot understand why she would act so violently towards me when she drinks. 

12 Answers

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  • Raja
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    She is your mother no doubt but she as a hidden jealously feeling towards you which come out when she is drunk.That is the reason why she act in that manner.Consult a councilor.

  • 1 year ago

    Uh.....she IS an alcoholic and you should move out asap.

    Refuse to fight with her, leave the house if she starts drinking.

    Everyone has choices, dear, even you when she drinks. Get out of the house, call the cops, you have choices.

  • A
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    First of all, she IS an alcoholic, just because she doesn't drink every day does not exclude her from being an alcoholic, Do you confront her about her behavior when she sobers up? Have you tried recording her and showing it to her? She needs help and so do you, talk to a counselor at school, see about joining an Alateen group for children of alcoholics. Good luck

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    If she can't control her drinking she needs help - from al-anon, for example. Wanting to physically fight you is most unusual, one would think. Fi

    lm her.

    She will not like that - and she'll like it even less when you play the film back when she is sober!  You may need to get a camera that you can hide if you can't use your phone. Have you any relatives you can talk to about this? What is she like when you are not there? She does need help, it seems. Good Luck!

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    "She's not an alcoholic by any means."  Sorry, but she is an alcoholic.  Where are your older brothers?   Can't your brothers try and diffuse the situation?  Ala teen is a support group for children with alcoholic parents.  You can find a support group online.  Just look up Ala Teen.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    i would move out and if youre underage call cps

  • 1 year ago

    I get you say she's not an alcoholic but she behaves like one.

  • 1 year ago

    She's a closet alcoholic. Have a chat to AA and Alanon (for the families of alcoholics) who will advise you what to do. You could film her on your phone when she's in full drunken flight and show it to her and how she treats you when she's sober and loving towards you. Show her what she's like because it isn't pleasant. You like your position as only child out of X who she trusts. You are also the only one she abuses as they others have left her.

  • 1 year ago

    sounds to me that you have become her scapegoat --guessing she is some kind of narcissist and you are the one she goes after when she can't control herself as usual.  she sees you as safe...in this case this is not a good thing. safe means she can bully you and abuse you and you won't do anything.  you don't deserve to live like this. can you take a video when she is doing this to you?  show it to your dad or aunts or uncles and ask for help?

  • y
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    You are her safe person and sober, she knows the kids are not suppose to be the safe person.

    Everyone needs a vent, apparently when drinking, you are hers. Everything she throws at you may come out at you. But it is actually the frustration from everyone, all directed at the one she believes. Will still be there for her.

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