Do you make your Woman do the Cooking?

Women should do the cooking. It's natural.

I don't allow my wife to cook in MY kitchen.

Just the way you phrased the question is offensive, she is not "your" woman, she is part of a relationship with you, and probably pretty tolerant if that's who she chooses to be with. If in fact you are a terrible cook, and she's great at it, I think it's fair that she cooks more often, so you both get a decent meal. However, it is not her "job" as your wife/girlfriend, and she has a say in whether she cooks all the time. Even if the other partner can't boil water, the one with decent cooking skills shouldn't be saddled with the burden of making food every night, if that's not what they want. 

No. I satisfy them so they'll want to cook for me.

I tried, but she's too busy not existing. 

No. My cat likes sleeping under the bed.