How do I deal with this ?

Can you see him as your husband one day?  Discuss it with him.  If you are attracted to him, have emotional attachment , have chemistry and mutual respect what is the problem?  Discuss it with your religious leader.

Gov't is killing you with highfrequencyelectricity. Theotokos Virgin Mary gave prayers to "Schema-nun Antonia" on how to save aborted babies from hell. If you pray these prayers diligently, aborted babies are released from hell. On each painted nail there are forty demons. Smoking is censer to the devil.Using foul language calls upon Pagan deities (aka demons); Holy Spirit departs on seven meters. People who use drugs see demons who cleverly disguise themselves as ghosts and aliens.America will be last country to switch to Euro (antichrist's world currency). Contraceptives = abortion;using contraceptives for one year = five aborted kids.Miscarriages happen because of high heels; cesarean because of pants (second generation cesarean will be infertile).Unbaptized aborted/miscarried/unborn babies burn in hell until Final Judgement; if pregnant, keep the kid and deliver at home because kids are chippedusing IVs and vaccines in hospitals. Dentists and doctors chip patients secretly. Ultrasound leads to mark of the beast; don't do ultrasound, please. Abortion leads to breast cancer; a demon is released from hell for each aborted kid. Dogs can become possessed; don't keep dogs inside your home [Pelageya of Ryazan]. Walmart has technology to administer mark of the beast to those who have cat bacteria in their stomachs/brains; stay away from cats [Athanasius 3rd of Constantinople]. Next false flag is the Statue of Liberty. Above earth there is ice (dome); when rockets go up they bring ice down from upper sky to lower sky; ice stuck in lower sky will fall on us during Apocalypse. Earth is flat; earth stands on three stalactite pillars (The Most Holy Trinity); pillars stand on water at zero Kelvin; underneath this ice there is a bubble; and then the abyss. Zodiac is planetary prison of demons; don't believe in horoscopes or you'll exhibit the traits of the trapped demons. Most thoughts and dreamsare from demons; demons never do good. Sleep fully clothed; pray the Jesus prayer. Pray to your guardian angel to have normal sleep. Vyacheslav Krasheninnikov was the last prophet before Apostle John (who wrote the Book of Revelation), Enoch, Elijah, resurrected Seraphim of Sarov, and resurrected Sergius of Radonezh will preach against the antichrist. Humans were created about 7530 years ago. Birds participate in time creation. It's a sin to kill birds. Dinosaurs live under our level; they will get out through sinkholes and lakes; to kill them, go for their nerves. Save the birds; but kill the dinosaurs. First dinosaur will come out of Volga River in Russia. Scientists don't see dinosaurs under our level because of radiation. Sinkholes happen because people dig for resources underground and because earth is heating up. Demons grow human skin (from a sample taken during abduction) and put it on so as to look like us. Demons will invite people to be healed inside their UFOs; those who go will be like zombies after. Gov't provides demons with diamonds and allows demons to abduct people. If you're being abducted, slowly pray the Jesus prayer. Don't panic. Demons use diamonds and souls to power their UFO craft. The bigger the diamond, the more it lasts. Demons have 4 UFO bases: 1)moon 2)inside fake mountain Kailash (Tibet) 3)in lake Baikal in Russia 4)in Atlantis which is underneath double ocean floor of Mariana Trench (Pacific Ocean). There are no aliens. Nobody lives on other planets. Airplanes that go down are hit by demons because they need the airspace to fight Jesus. Antichrist is pale with red eyes. He's possessed by Satan since he's 12 years old [Lavrentiy Chernigovskiy]. He flies super fast; deceived people will say: "Christ is here; Christ is there" when he's flying from one city to the next very fast. He wears gloves to hide long nails. He'ssurrounded by demons who appear as angels of light. Antichrist will trick people that he can do mountain moving and resurrection using holograms/hypnosis; fire from the sky is real because of pollution gases in the atmosphere. Antichrist will have food only for 6 months; then he will feed his 666ed people flourfrom mashed up turtles (Tavrion Batozskiy), but this won't be enough because 666ed people are 10 times as angry and 7 times as hungry as normal people even though 666ed people became shorter (3-4 feet tall = 80 - 120 cm)because nanochips do function of organs (organs diminish) [Nilus Myrrhgusher]. If you have a lot of nanochips in your forearm, then you will not be able to make proper Orthodox sign ofthe cross (last mercy for you will be to cut yourforearm off). Nanochips are sprayed by the gov't usingchemtrails; they're also in gov't food andmedicine; so, eat food from your own garden. In case garden is destroyed by ice from the sky, have chickens for eggs and goats for milk (Paisios). Lipstick contains cells of abortedfetuses, dog fat, and placenta; human fleshis in McDonalds, Pepsi, toothpaste, antiaging,anticancer, vaccines, perfume, etc.; that's why you should not be using anything that modern society has to offer. You're better off hiding within a 10-15 people group in order to escape Apocalypse. During Apocalypse,Christians will eat dirt from under pussywillowtree as it's filled with tears of Theotokos VirginMary; this water will flee if a 666ed person tries to get it. Barcode is Druid black magic curse; QRcode is Mayan curse; when food is scanned, it becomes dead because laser is a substance from demons. Don't go into a UFO to be healed by demons. Unforgivablegreen666 is given by isotope rays on wrist or forehead when people stretch hands to receive small plastic grey card with no name on it (WorldPassport). It doesn't just have to be during this procedure (could be anything you sign up for or anywhere where there is a secret scanner); biometrics (fingerprints, eyescan) or getting picture for passport are very dangerous because they could mark you secretly. GabrielUrgebadze said thattheydoitonindexfingerwhenthey scan your finger. Basically, trytoavoidnewdocuments at all cost. Policewill microchip and isotope ray people on highways. Chipped people will be influenced by computers to take grey plastic card; but when they do, greenmark by isotope rays is given on forehead/wrist. Food stores will isotoperaypeopletoo. Antichrist will also release prisoners/insaneasylumpeople tomarkpeople. Reject 666 at all cost because it leads to permanent hell. If you're about to be marked, pray the Jesus prayer. Hide with OrthodoxChristians to escape 666; leave all electronics behind so that antichrist's minions can'ttrack you; burn documents because they're fromSatan. TheMostHolyTrinity gives you a name during baptism; devil gives an antiname during antibaptism (ex. SocialSecurityNumber). People who die with these Satanicdocuments go to concentrationcamp in hell to await FinalJudgement; once the BEASTComputer is burned down, souls will be released for FinalJudgement. That's why you should give back documents of your deceasedrelatives back to the gov't so that the gov't cancels these digital antichristiannames given during antibaptism by the beastsystem; or just burn thesedocumentsbecause gov't could get upset and could send demons to mark you because of this outright act of defiance. Prophecy from halfamillennium ago describes FinalJudgement like this: Jesus was very upset with people who had littleboards (plasticcards) in their hands because they wanted discount from the antichrist. Givetocharity in the name of ArchangelMichael; he rescues people from temporaryhell twice a year [at midnight September18-19 and similarly on November20-21; pray at these times on your knees remembering the deceased by names (adding "and relatives by flesh up to Adam") so that they arerescued if they're in hell] (or brings them up alevel, that is, to a level with lesspunishment;eventually, people arefreed). Feed thepigeons;when pigeons bowdown, people are savedfrom temporaryhell. It's a big sin to rememberthe deadwithwreaths (because demons put these wreaths on their necks if they're inhellwith theirwrists tied up behind their back while hanging by their wrists), meat,alcohol,sweets,andworldlymusic. Demons print icons of saints/crosses/8sidedstarofTheotokosVirginMary in newspapers/products so that you throw these newspapers/products in the trashblasphemingthesesaints. Crosses on solesofshoes and backofpants are blasphemy. Demons makecarpets with crosses and put them on sidewalks so that people walk on crosses. Playingcards mockhow Jesus sufferedonthecross: clubs(cross on which Jesus wascrucified), diamonds (fournails Jesus was crucified with), hearts (sponge with vinegar that Jesuswas given to drink),spades (spear with whichJesus waspierced).Cremationisdevilworship; only blasphemers such as Lenin should be burned; if Lenin is buried, earth will be polluted, and China will attack Russia because of this. AfterChinaattacksRussia, RuskiOrthodoxTsar (shown by resurrected SeraphimofSarov) willcome topowerinRussia;this Tsar will slay traitors inside Church and gov't; asaresult, Russia will be the only country not under the antichrist.Ecumenism=263heresies;each heresy leads to hell. In 2006 in Moscow (that's why Moscow will sink),representatives from most religions signed a document where it says that all religions worship the same SupremeBeing [aka thedevil]. Priests who participate in ecumenism will have Pagans walking on theirheads in hell. ArkhimandriteAntoninKapustin left a prophecy that Church of All Russian Saints in Gorny Monastery, EinKarem, Israel will be blessed by forerunner of antichrist; pseudoPatriarchKirillofRussia and MarkofBerlin blessed thischurchin2007. Whenpriestspray forcurrent gov't (insteadofprayingfor futureTsar),Jesus getsupfrom Histhroneand turns Hisback tothem. DryLindens leaves(bathbroom)toeat.Forgiveme

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Do as you feel is right.

Give a couple of blowies. You’ll become addicted

Know that those are just feelings.  It  isn't that serious.  You don't have to worry about having lost all your reality because you got pregnant.  You should thank God for allowing for you to be a free and happy person.  Your fantasy is a delusion that is trying to destroy you if you let it, just for a feeling.

OH MY GOD you are a sand monkey. Thanks for 911

Wow. I did not follow Islam and grew up in a conservative Christian church.  I believed the standard of not having sex before marriage. And I know it's a tough battle with a tug of war between hormones on one side and religious fidelity on the other. During my high school and early college years, I followed the letter, not the spirit, of the religious law. I began a rigorous study of comparative religions and gained an understanding of the underpinnings of major religions and their current fidelity to their venerated leader. I came to the conclusion that theology had interjected prohibitions and limits to the expression of religion that did not come from the paradigm of that faith, but tended to control many of the activities of believers. I hope you will cleave to the faith of your family while under their roof, but will carefully analyze the restraints put on believers and contrast them to the life of your prophet. I find it liberating to follow Him, as opposed to following the theology of the religion. May you find peace and a bountiful life as you grow older.

You need to let go and let some bloke muslim or otherwise  give you a bloody good seeing to.

I would look at this as a learning experience. Ideally, you'd want to have physical intimacy with someone you emotionally connect with. It really helps intimacy feel more special, rather than simply fulfilling a base desire. (Speaking from experience.)

You mention that he "doesn't really go deep into things", and that he kept wanting to move forward despite your reservations, which bothers me. Good communication between partners is a critically important part of having sex. If he wanted to go ahead with things you're clearly not comfortable with and was not willing to learn more about you, then he was trying to use you. I know that probably hurts to hear right now, but it is important to look at each guy you have feelings for as a chance to learn about what kind of partner you /do/ want.

I really hope you can find a partner who respects your beliefs and listens to you; such partners are wonderful, and you deserve one.