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Should I still talk to this girl?
We were in the same dating group on Facebook so she messaged me and we been talking for the past two days. But she is in a different state as me like really long distance so there is little chance of meeting. And she worries if I don't respond within a minute because tonight I was only gone for 5 minutes and she wrote 6 straight messages asking if I'm okay and alright. And she wrote how sad it is that she's alone right now.
She is like me and never been in a relationship.
1 Answer
- ?Lv 69 months ago
Hey Mike - hope this helps in some small way.
There is nothing wrong with talking. Millions of people find meaningful support and friendship on line - that will never ever meet. This is very much akin to "old school - snail mail pen pals."
You DO need to be very clear with this person and all your on line contacts as to expectations. In this case - you are probably right: it is highly unlikely that you will meet this person. If you are still in school and just starting out - financial issues (and now covid) make meeting up challenging and risky.
So if you want a pure friend to chat with - tell her exactly that: "just friends only, k?" I am looking for a serious relationship, but with someone much closer. Next you have to set boundries - she has flown a MAJOR red flag up. You have only been talking for two days and already she is showing major neediness issues.
Make sure she understands that you have no standing commitments to talk (unless you expressly make them). When you are on line you are on line - but do not expect any consistency. DO show her proper on line etiquette and let her know you are going afk, brb, logging off, ttg, ttyl, etc. Be respectful of her time and life as you want her to be of yours.
Relationships of all kinds are supposed to be mutually supportive - no a burden or lodestone. Serious romantic relationships need to help the people in them be better than they are alone - but NOT "I need you every second" suffocating. You both should feel as "free" as you were when "single," leaning on mutual trust that "intimacy" of any kind with others is excluded (assuming that is what you agree to in your relationship).
Again, hope this helps. Good luck.