Was I right to be offended?

Question

A friend of mine whom I have turned down before as I wasn’t attracted to him started online dating again.( I’m British and he has told me on many occasions how pretty I am) He was chatting about the girls he liked and he started saying he only dates or chats to Eastern European’s girls as they are good looking and the British girls are not his type or very good looking. I got really offended as all my friends/family are British. I told him how shallow he was etc was I right to be offended?

Foofa · Answer

His intention was to offend you because he's angry that you turned him down. So you've given him exactly what he wanted, that being your ire.

Helen · Answer

Right or wrong isn't the question. You were offended and that's okay.
You also played right into his hands. I imagine he was trying to get a rise out you and it worked.

dman63 · Answer

I wouldn’t get too bothered about it.  You’re right about him being shallow (not to mention immature and kind of snippy)...all because you turned him down.  He’s playing a stupid little game, and you’re best to leave him in his little deluded world.

jijawm · Answer

I discern that you understand that being offended is a choice. For most people being offended is a mindless,  knee-jerk reaction, making them vulnerable to those who attempt to be deliberately offensive.
Armed with that, you have other choices you can make. Good for you. Choose wisely.

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Was I right to be offended?

4 Answers