Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and the Yahoo Answers website is now in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.

Trending News

Promoted
cat
cat asked in Society & CultureCultures & GroupsLesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender · 6 months ago

Am I Treated Poorly For Being Gay?

I grew up in Arizona where it's kind of a republican dominated culture. I have never lived anywhere else. So maybe I've developed a thick skin, but it seems that whenever I go somewhere ... like to a restaurant for example, I get an aggressive host who seems to be relentlessly angry and unhappy. I have the tendency to be forgetful and don't pay much attention to it because I'm so used to it but it STILL bothers me if I think about it (like I'm doing now) 

 I've worked several jobs where my supervisors frequently picked on me. Then I finally found a job where I basically dont' work with anybody and the manager is gay . but i look back and wonder, why is this the only job where i felt like i was treated normal? did they bully me at other jobs because i was gay? 

I don't know exactly how to handle it, I just ignore it and move on because not everyone is like that. But sometimes I feel like I need some kind of a support or encouragement . Or sometimes I just wish there was something I could do so straight people could just treat me with some respect.

Recently I started experimenting with wearing a hat and urban clothing and strangely enough, i began getting treated significantly better. I thought I would get treated worse, but I feel like straight people have been nicer to me lately with my new style boyish style

Update:

could it just be me ? maybe i'm just wasting my thoughts on nonsense. I dunno... i feel there is nothing I can do about it anyway except pretend to be straight. but that's honestly hard for me to do because I have a gentle voice, and I think my voice is my biggest give away. my voice is not "gay" sounding, but it is gentle and people assume that it sounds gay. 

5 Answers

Relevance
  • reme_1
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    You might want to talk to the counselor at the LGBT center. You might be giving off a negative vibe.

    You also might want to try living in a different place for a while- to give yourself a change of scenery.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    If it bothers you, maybe you should dress down a bit and speak a little deeper.  

    Personally, I say, "Screw them, be yourself" 

    All anyone should be concerned about is how you treat them. 

    People who judge you by anything else are assholes.  

  • display name
    Lv 4
    6 months ago

    Well, I know this is going to be met with a whole lot of negativity, but here goes anyway.  I think you have just had a small taste of what it is like to be Black!  (I'm white, cisgender and gay, but not obviously gay.  So I haven't had the same experiences that you have had.  I think you have gone through some real homophobia and it must hurt. Just remember you can't change others, only yourself.  

    I disagree strongly with @loveable.  All people deserve respect regardless.  But I do agree that you should just try to be the very best person you can be and be proud of yourself.  However, I suspect you live in a strongly homophobic society (I've never been to Arizona, although I have friends who winter in Scottsdale and who claim it is a liberal enclave (they're a straight couple - husband and wife).  Perhaps it's time for you to move on - experience a different way of life, a new beginning.  He should not have to "pretend" to be someone you are not.  Your story makes me very angry.  I wish you a lot of luck. 

  • loveable
    Lv 6
    6 months ago

    If you want respect, do things that people can see that they can respect you.

    Eg. organising an event, be a leader, getting all things done. 

    All these demands respect because it takes lots of commitment to think of a plan, have a group to get the plans together, executing the plans. 

    Or staying on commitment and constant good job. 

    People don't really find respect on small things which people regularly do or do poorly than them. Somewhat insignificant. They will be thinking this also anyone can do. Put in your best commitment and effort, get things constantly in perfection, working well with everyone. It's not how you assume people treat you, they think they treat you very good already. You can't be always thinking emotionally. You need to focus on how much work done, how much you can do for people, how much you can grow in knowledge and experience. 

    Gay or not, the work has to be done, regardless you are male or female. It's not about how people treat you. It's about how you treat the work needed to be done. Everyone is looking at the work. Some just think, some just talk over it, but the people who truly do the work that demands the respect. Hope this is very clear to you. 

  • Ricardo
    Lv 5
    6 months ago

    You have a point. I've felt the same many times, mainly when I was younger. Now things seem to be getting better. 

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.