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Just broke up with someone - how long before I start over?

I just broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years a week ago. I saw it coming that's why it's easier for me to accept that she's gone.

I've started to message people whom I left while I was in a relationship. I connected with old friends - made new ones, and in the process, I got to befriend an old college acquaintance.

She was always known for her beauty back then. 10 years ago, I was fat and my face was full of pimples. Now, I have a six-pack and my confidence is sky high -- but not to the extent of being a douche. I am a nurse after all and my elderly patients love me because of how caring I am.

Anyway, we started to chat via Facebook and found out that she's single. She replies to my messages even though my face was just a faint memory.

I just want to know if it's too soon to ask her out. If it isn't, any advice as to how to subtly let her know that I'm attracted to her? Would this move disrespect my very recent breakup? Any bros out there?

4 Answers

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  • 5 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Everyone experiences and copes with breakups differently. If you saw it coming and therefore weren't as affected, just move on and do what you got to do. I'd start by asking her for coffee or a drink, if you can manage that somehow with the covid crap going on. Otherwise, maybe setup a video chat or something and just talk for a while. You have to get to know this girl all over again essentially because it's been a while, right? Don't just dive in head first because of her looks. Once you get to know her more, and I mean over the course of at least another couple of weeks, and you still feel attracted, let her know what the deal is. You're single, she's single, you find her attractive, etc, etc, and ask her out. That way you give yourself some time to actually figure out if you'll still get along with her, and after this period of time you can avoid worrying about any sort of "disrespect" it may have against your previous breakup, if there even could or would be any. At the very least, it'll keep people from getting any wrong ideas or spreading rumours about why you broke up with someone and immediately started dating someone else, which is always a nice thing to avoid. Good luck.

  • T J
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    Go for it............good luck

  • Sky
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    This reminds me of various Family Circus comics along the lines of one of the kids asking something like, "Mommy, am I tired enough to go to bed yet?"  You do what YOU feel like doing.  If you want to start over then start over.  If you meet someone but you don't quite feel like starting a relationship yet then you don't.  It's very simple.

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    So you use people then?

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