What’s more worse to a mother, telling her I’m not her son or giving the silent treatment for nearly a month now?

I remember this lady looking all distraught and sleeping a lot, but I want to know what’s much worse for her. She was there for me and I was her boy before my other brother was born, but that had died out years ago. My reason of doing this was the fact she had hurt me over the years where she stopped caring about me, so I told her I am not her son. I confirm that I will commit suicide in the near future due to her neglect towards me and that a metrosexual organisation had ruined my life because they blacklisted me based on some lie I posted  about myself being a convicted paedophile. They not only blacklisted me, but they were also telling these lies to every guy and child that  I was just seen as something to be avoided. My reason for telling a lie about myself being one in the first place has to do with the fact I missed out when parents took my siblings due to work commitments as a supervisor.

I no longer intend this talk to her which is part of my plan of committing suicide. I will commit suicide.