Why don’t people obey police commands ?

They are ignorant, stupid and clueless people,  who think they can get away with anything or they are hiding something,  they do not want the police to know about.

With what American cops are. They have made that imposable to do.  So the cop can get his joy killing in.  Its a rigged game they play. 

I would rather die than go to prison

Stupidity and stubbornness abounds.

Such as "put your hands up and get your wallet out of your pocket"?

More , or less , stupidity ...

Never argue with anyone pointing a 9mm at you .

Yeah...why is that?  Well one reason is that the perp is totally stoned or maybe demented.  So the perp is really dysfunctional when the cops show up.  

Another reason is that the perp is immature in their development; so they are incapable of understanding the reality of the situation.  Yet another is that the perp is trying to hide something (like drugs) that they don't want the cops to find.  There is also the occasional "suicide by cop" encounter where the perp really wants to die and goads the cops into killing him.  Ego of the perp also plays a role here; "Nobody is going to order me around," is what the perp thinks.

Finally there is the mistaken or lack of identity where the perp thinks the cops are bad guys and uses his legally carried weapon to defend himself.  We had this one recently with that no-knock entry where the woman was killed because her boyfriend fired on the cops thinking they were robbers.

i assume it is a calculated method of dying on their part and lose no sleep over it

there is a bigger picture not being reported by the media, there is much lawlessness in American Cities, certain groups of people are given carte blanche when committing most crimes except the most heinous crimes, so basically it breeds a lawless disrespectful culture of authority, in DC they had to enact a curfew because parents of inner city kids would pay for hotel rooms for their kids so at night they can loot all the cars in the affluent areas yet this is not reported in the news

They get shot anyway.