Are these signs of a toxic person?

Question

I have been dating this person for 3 years and sometimes I go back and think of all the crazy stuff such as when we would be fighting he would punch himself in the face(because he would never hurt me so he would punch himself) and broke his jaw this happened four times, one time he broke my windshield with his head. One time he punched a hole through the wall or threatens to kill himself. After he does those things he would blame me and say I wasn’t listening and that’s why he did that because that’s the only way to get me to listen. I’ve forgiven him for many things. Things are okay now but sometimes I doubt us working because of your disagreements. Any advice?

Update:

I also feel like since those things happened like a year ago that I can’t just break up with him now because we aren’t fighting and it would be too hard because were at a good point.

? · Answer

That's beyond "toxic" and well into psychopathic. You're putting your life at risk every moment you spend with him.

Anonymous · Answer

I always believe that every relationship is salvageable. Remember, there was obviously something that attracted you to each other and brought you both together in the first place. However, I think your boyfriend may need psychological help because self-harming himself in order to manipulate you is not normal. With that being said, what you also need to do is be proactive in making things work between you. By that I mean you both need to work on resolving the complications that causes him to harm himself in the first place. In order to do that you will both need to think of solutions and ultimately, you will both need to compromise on certain things. If you are both capable of doing these things then you can make things work.

Lisa A · Answer

Those are not disagreements. That is a manipulative, gaslighting creep. Run. Run fast.

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Are these signs of a toxic person?

3 Answers