2 kids with non-verbal Autism?

Hi, can you see a therapist who is good in counseling clients with behavioral issues? Maybe you can work out something with the therapist.

I empathise with you. You have my sympathies.....

you need a lawyer to set this up.  A special needs trust will not be counted against some assistance like SSI.

if you have a decent SS benefit, they will get disabled adult child benefits instead of SSI.

Has a family member agreed to take custody?  you can name a list of guardians (list 1st choice, 2nd choice, etc......)

Contact your state's division of developmental disabilities. They can provide information on the various services and supports that they offer to adults with Autism spectrum disorders. Most people with Autism generally live at home, and many of them work at least some of the time. Your kids could probably do this too, with the correct supports.

Starting a trust fund is a good idea, but you will need to name a trustee (financial representative) to manage it on your children's behalf, if they are not able to make decisions themselves. You also need to decide who you want your children's guardian to be in the event of your death or incapacitation due to illness or accident. And you definitely need to put all of your wishes in WRITING. Depending on how disabled your kids are, you may need to have a separate individual with medical power of attorney who can give consent for their medical and dental care.

I strongly urge you to make an appointment with a financial planner and an attorney. (Start with whichever one you can see first; they can probably recommend one of the other they've worked with in the past.) One will help you square things away for your children's financial future, the other for their care after you're gone.