Why should I help plan my former stepdaughter's wedding? ?

Question

I've been a widow for 3 years. I was married for 10 years before my husband passed away. My former stepdaughter is getting married and she wants me to help her plan it. I told her no. She and her fiance can plan on it on their own wedding. I'm not obligated to do anything.

My former stepdaughter was incredibly spoiled and indulged by her mother. Her mother is deceased. I want nothing to do with her. She made my life hell after my husband died. She says this could be a way for us to bond. I said no thank you, and hung up the phone.

I know this may sound petty, but unless you know the full circumstances, please don't judge me.

? · Accepted Answer

Send her husband a sympathy card.

something fishy · Answer

I'd say thanks for thinking of me...I'm too old now to enjoy helping other family would be delighted.

Common Sense · Answer

There is no reason for you to associate with anyone with whom you clearly don't even like.

You told her no when she reached out to the only female adult a parentless girl knows to ask for help.

Her "step-daughter" title did not magically vanish when her father died. with that train of thought, that would make you a former widow!

What a pity. I feel sorry for the girI to basically have no one.

You are not the person to help her because it would not be genuine to help someone you basically hate.

Carry On. She will.

Anonymous · Answer

this isn't even a question. do you know this is not a ranting site? take this elsewhere...

? · Answer

I suppose it was best to be honest with her as you said.

drip · Answer

Her future husband should be helping her plan her wedding.
If you don’t want a relationship with her then your answer to her was the correct one,

babyboomer1001 · Answer

I'm judging you, and I'm with you - in full - 100%.  It sounds like she was abusive too.

Janet · Answer

Seeing as you don't want a relationship with her, you don't have to worry about your refusal wrecking a relationship with her.

You have the right to refuse this.
Just try not to hang onto your resentment, because that can end up making you susceptible to any number of incurable immuno-related diseases ... and even to cancer.

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Why should I help plan my former stepdaughter's wedding? ?

8 Answers