Wouldn’t your feelings be hurt? ?

Your husband is a bigger idiot than the spitefull witch.

HE NEEDS to be a man and set her straight or boycott this wedding and ALL events that exclude you.

EeffingNOUGH ALREADY!

I would not allow her to gaslight me even one mor e time. She knows she is upsetting you while getting perverse pleasure out of it.

Your husband is a wussy! Sorry!

You are a saint to put up with herBullshit for 20 years. And, your husband is betraying You, all the while.

Have him read this. He needs a WAKE - UP Call!

 By the way. All of my siblings and our parents (all 7 of us) can't stand our brother's wife. But at least we don't treat her like yesterday's trash and she is always included in family events. And yes, she wears the pants in our brother's house.

You say your husband's family has put up with this for years, but do you not see that this includes him?  What she did to you was incredibly disrespectful, yet apparently this was ok by him?  Instead, he should have told her he's bailing on the wedding and this isn't negotiable.  

Yep, you're justifiably hurt. But technically this is your niece too, even if just a niece by marriage. The real situation here is that if your husband goes to this wedding and takes your kids with him and allows you to be excluded like this it says a lot about your marriage. In the same position I might actually be willing to divorce him if he goes through with this. 

If your husband cares he will not go to that wedding without you and especially not walk someone else daughter down the aisle when he left his wife at home as if she was not part of the family.  Good Luck and God Bless.

It's incredibly tacky and rude to invite one spouse and not the other.  If your husband is tolerating this..  he is part of the problem.

I don't like my brothers wife and she doesn't like me.  However, knowing not including her will cause more problems than it will solve I've always invited her to events I've had.  Birthday parties, Quinces, graduations and eventually when my kids get married.  Not including her would put my brother in an awkward place and also be hurtful to my nephews and niece.

I have 2 kids from a previous marriage who my husband raised and loves as his own.  Years ago from his side of the family he had a cousin getting married.  This cousin invited him and I plus the kids we had together but the invite did not include my older 2 kids (who at the time were minors too).  He declined the invite, he wasn't attending if they weren't welcome too.  We don't care on invites where it's adults only and none of the kids are invited but the picking and choosing he wasn't tolerating.

Setting aside maybe a work place wedding, neither my husband or myself would attend a wedding where the other wasn't also invited.

Why would your husband and children be in the wedding that you are not allowed to attend? 

Seems you and your husband are long over due for a talk about his sister 

Please forgive me for being brutal; but, you have let this woman control?? manipulate you for 20 years. So she doesn't like you, I know that has to hurt; but, it is her loss. She is a selfish, trouble making little b to do something like this and she will look like one big FOOL. Crying, girl you need to get mad for a bit and then forget her. Husband should have refused if she were going to treat you like this. Re-read your question:

1) doesn't like you    2) treated you like a dog   3) purposely excluding you   4) you were crying and she rolls her eyes and told you to stop being a drama queen.  And you let her. 5) She controls the family.  Well, when something or someone makes me cry, you had best get out of my line of sight.  Yes, you are wrong to get your feelings hurt, you know what she is so stop giving this narcissist little b control over your life. Look at it in the big scope of everything that is going on in this world. If the other idiot let her control them, that's their problem.  They could all unite and put her in her place. Forget her, she's not worth it. I almost believe I would go anyway, put on my fine duds and if she says anything, say something like this, (bs) "oh, I just couldn't stand not seeing my favorite niece get married, what a wonderful day, I'm so happy for you". If she continues say I didn't think you would be that mean, you are not like that. You're a better person than that. Now, don't worry about me, go, have fun, speak to your other guests, dance---this is a one time thing.  Enjoy!!  Kill her with kindness; but, have some peanut butter hid behind the jelly. Stop, just stop. Find a way to atleast partially pass and re-pass or cut her out of your life. What I wonder does hubby say, he can't be much if he lets her treat her like this.  I would pull my children out of the wedding.

Nonsense. If your husband and children were invited, you'd also be invited. 

Your husband is the problem here. If your SIL won't have you at the wedding, then he should have shown respect for you and refused to go. 

just ignore her and live your best life.!!!