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How can I learn to love my body even though I’m not as thin as I want to be?
I’m 29 years old now and I’ve struggled with an eating disorder since I was 17. I was only underweight for about 2 years and the rest of this time I’ve technically been well within a healthy weight for my heigh of 5’7” but my mind was consumed by ED thoughts every second of the day. It still is. I just got married last month and can’t help but wish I was thinner on my wedding day looking back at photos now. I weigh 126 so I’m certainly not overweight, I know that, but I’m not the thinnest I’ve been either and looking at these photos make me wish I could’ve been thinner in them. I just want to accept my body. I can look at other women who weigh more than me without a doubt and think they look beautiful!! But I can’t feel that way about myself. I want to. I want to stop feeling self conscious when I’m naked and just feel comfortable in my own body. Any advice please? Before you say therapy, that’s just not an option for me now since my insurance won’t cover it and I can’t afford out of pocket :(
I should mention though that I was previously in therapy for a total of 4 years throughout my ED (mostly CBT). I’m not opposed to therapy even though it’s never helped me recover, it’s just not an option for me now due to health insurance coverage.
2 Answers
- LadyMertonLv 73 weeks ago
There is a Free 12 step group and other support groups online if you do a search
Eating Disorders Anonymous (EDA) is a Twelve-Step fellowship of individuals (founded in 2000 by sober members of AA) who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problems and help others to recover from their eating disorders. People can and do fully recover from having an eating disorder. In EDA, we help one another identify and claim milestones of recovery. The only requirement for membership is a desire to recover from an eating disorder.
There are no dues or fees for EDA membership. We are self-supporting through our own contributions.
EDA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution. EDA does not wish to engage in any controversy. We neither endorse nor oppose any causes.
Our primary purpose is to recover from our eating disorders and to carry this message of recovery to others with eating disorders.
In EDA, we try to focus on the solution, not the problem. Solutions have to do with recognizing life choices and making them responsibly. Diets and weight management techniques do not solve our thinking problems. EDA endorses sound nutrition and discourages any form of rigidity around food.
Balance – not abstinence – is our goal.
In EDA, recovery means living without obsessing on food, weight and body image. In our eating disorders, we sometimes felt like helpless victims. Recovery means gaining or regaining the power to see our options, to make careful choices in our lives. Recovery means rebuilding trust with ourselves, a gradual process that requires much motivation and support. As we learn and practice careful self-honesty, self-care and self-expression, we gain authenticity, perspective, peace and empowerment.
