What is this a sign of and why do I do this?

When I was younger I was bullied a lot and it had a big effect on me. I had depression and anxiety and was on brink of developing an eating disorder.

For years I was ashamed to admit it because I felt weak and didn't feel like I had a right to complain because other people suffer in world more than me. Thankfully I no longer get bullied and bounced back from an all time low.

It was so hard to accept it happened and to admit it until 4 years ago. I first told some trustworthy friends, then my counsellor and now I feel no shame in admitting what I went through and if anything embrace fact it happened because of how far I have come since.

I don't talk about it all the time only sometimes if it came up btw. It can be hurtful to repeat exact examples of bullying behavior tho. Sometimes I don't even realize I talk about it and get into detail about it and only after I'm finished I realize "woah I went into detail there"

I'm just wondering why this change in attitude towards it happened without me realizing it?