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? asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 3 weeks ago

Does this one sister really have a say so?

My daughter recently gave birth to our family's first biological great grandchild.  Both my parents are still living and my mom is over the moon about it.  Well, with covid still present a few family members have all decided to chip in and watch the baby during the day after my daughter goes back to work from maternity leave instead of her putting the baby in a day care.  Me, being the granddad, my oldest sister (my daughter's aunt and the baby's god-mother), and my mom, the baby's great-grandmother have all decided that we will alternate keeping the baby during the day.  One of my other sisters doesn't want our mom to have to deal with the baby because my dad doesn't get around well these days and our mom had to tend to him during the day.  She gets him up and dresses him then he sits in his chair all day until she gets him ready for bed.  Yes, that's a full time thing for her but once dad is up and in his chair he's set for the day.  My sister thinks that will be too much for my mom and is adamant that she not keep her great grandchild.  No, we're not talking that the baby will be at her house 5 days a week.  Maybe one or two at the most because both my other sister and I work from home so we have the ability to be here with the baby.  My mom is fine with this arrangement and is looking forward to keeping her great-grandchild a day or two each week.  My other sister keeps asking me what the arrangements are once my daughter goes back to work and I tell her it's between me 

Update:

and our oldest sister.  She doesn't think my mom needs to be taxed with watching our dad and the baby at the same time.  I'm sue this sibling will eventually find out that my mom has the baby at her place and so she's not going to be too happy with that.  Again, my mom, my oldest sister, and myself have all agreed this is what will happen but my other sister is not in agreeance with that decision.  Does she really have a say so since it's already been decided.  

Update 2:

@ Anon

It's not that my mom can't dot it because she can.  She was always the neighborhood mom who helped raise other people's kids.  Countless kids were raised in our house along with her own 7 kids.  My mom can do it but my sister doesn't want her to take on that much with our dad and all.  My mom runs the house like a drill sergeant.  Everything is one a schedule.  Cooking, cleaning, running errands.  Dad isn't to the point to where he can't be left alone.  Once he's situated my mom will run

Update 3:

do the grocery shopping and things like that.  No, the baby won't be there when she or dad has a doctor's appointment but only on the days when they don't really have much planned.

5 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    I don't know your family dynamic but I do know someone caring for an aging relative with mobility problems and there's no way they could take care of a newborn at the same time. Better to have whomever's babysitting take the kid by for visits than to expect your mother to be able to pull double duty like that, especially if she's older herself. 

  • ?
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    she might if its her baby

  • ?
    Lv 6
    3 weeks ago

    Think of the welfare of the baby first . Will the baby be cared for properly ? Especially young babies need attention. A feed ever 4 hours and nursing them during feeding and afterwards for at least an hour. Cleaning nappies and clothing, beds and towels and cloths. When the baby has stomach pain , or their teeth break through, they want to be hold and nurtured for the pain. When they get older they want to see things and play. They will start moving around after 4 to 5 months  crawling when they are 7 months. Is everyone ready to look after the baby and attend to all its needs ? That is going to be the reality and that needs to be carefully addressed. https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/questions/li...

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    Instead of whining incessantly, why don't you just file for divorce and then EVERY little detail can be EXACTLY the way you want it to be?

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    Taking care of a newborn and an elderly person doesn't seem like much of a problem, but it is.  Even If your dad "sits in his chair all day," there is laundry, cleaning the house and making meals to deal with.  Maybe your daughter would consider giving your mother a "trial run." If she feels like she can handle it, your daughter could let her babysit one day per week.

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