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Boyfriend said he wants a prenup do I have a right to be annoyed ? ?

My boyfriend said if we ever got married he’d want a prenup which is reasonable if it’s just me and him.

 But we want kids which I would be out of work staying at home raising for the most part , if we then break up I get the short straw I don’t have a lot saved because I’ve been sat at home raising and birthing his kids whilst he’s continued working. 

Do I have a right to be annoyed 

23 Answers

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  • 2 weeks ago

    Don't waste your time being "annoyed."  Be confident instead that you will match his prenup with one of your own that will address ALL of your concerns.  This is actually an excellent opportunity to determine if you are really the love of his life or you are about to marry an opportunist. 

    Source(s): Will be married 50 years this July 2021 to the gal I met when I was 10 and she was 8!
  • 2 weeks ago

    You should only get OUT of the marriage what you put IN to the marriage.

    No, you wouldn't get the short end of the straw because of the unconstitutional child support laws. Unless he is smart enough to know how to put a stop to it (yes, he CAN put a stop to them, legally, but 99.99% of the men out there don't know how and neither do the lawyers)

    Women know this and that is why they look for a man with money most times. They see men as a sort of 'stock market investment' or lottery.

    You should be annoyed but not at him. Annoyed at YOURSELF for being greedy. You are looking for that free ride if anything happens.

    It is NOT his responsibility to provide you with unearned income. That is YOUR exclusive responsibility.

    Claiming the kids made you quit your job doesn't fly with me.

    Many women still work full time jobs AND raise their kids.

    Also, you benefit from NOT having to work AND being with the kids far more than him (worth a lot more than mere money too). That too should be included in the discussion.

  • Anonymous
    2 weeks ago

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  • Anonymous
    2 weeks ago

                                                                 

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  • ?
    Lv 5
    2 weeks ago

    I see your point and if that's all that bother s you have some type of side gig to keep money coming in while you're staying home with children.

  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    2 weeks ago

    A prenup is generally to protect the assets that a couple each bring into the marriage. For most people, all assets and debts accumulated during a marriage are considered marital property and would be split during a divorce. So even if you took seven years off work to raise children and he was piling money into a retirement account during that time, when you divorce the value of that account would be split between you. Now, if he wants the prenup to include the division of all assets accumulated during the marriage, you can always tell him no. Remember that a prenup should be balanced and fair, and you have the right to have your own lawyer review and revise it as well. I don’t think you have any reason to be annoyed.

  • Good
    Lv 6
    2 weeks ago

    Let's lay it on the line from a man's perspective.

    In today's world, with family courts being hostile to men,

    a man considering marriage who does not consider the consequences of divorce is nothing but a fool.  Read that again because it's the truth.

    Women file for divorce in 70% of the cases.  College educated women getting divorced file in 90% of the cases. A man has a 50/50 chance of his marriage not falling apart.  This doesn't account for remaining in unhappy marriages and staying for the sake of the kids.

    A man going to court for a divorce is going to be raped by the court.  Oh, yes he is.  That's how family courts work.  Lawyers are encouraged to take as much from the man as they can and give it to the women regardless of her behavior in the marriage.

    She could have been caught red-handed in the very act of cheating with three different guys at once and the courts would totally overlook that.  He gets his kids taken away, loses half of his stuff he worked hard for, and has to pay an exaggerated amount each month for spousal support and child support for nearly two decades for each child.  Then the children grow up calling another man "Daddy." Basically, there is absolutely nothing in it for a man to get married.  With the hostile courts, a man has to do what he can to protect himself from them.  This doesn't even begin to address the many cases where a judge has taken a properly prepared prenup, signed and agreed on by both parties, and just simply thrown it out.

    A marriage is a contract.  The courts view it as a legal agreement between two parties, and they already have rules in place on how they are going to proceed in the event the contract is to be terminated, and it's never in favor of the man.

    Dr Stephanie has already resorted to name-calling and muddying the waters by suggesting that the preemptive attempt to protect oneself in case of a hostile divorce predicts negative behavior of a man in a loving marriage.  You don't buy a new car with the attitude that it's going to be involved in a crash and totally destroyed, but you do buy insurance for it just in case.

    Dr Stephanie is viewing things from a woman's perspective, so her attitude is typical, and it's expected.

    I'll bet that not one of the men responding to this has ever gone through a divorce.  This is not an attempt to avoid commitment and responsibility.  This is an attempt to preserve some of what a man has worked for over the years and avoid it being ripped away from him to be unfairly given to a woman who has become something he did not marry.

    There is nothing in it for a man to marry.  In today's world, with family courts being hostile to men, a man considering marriage who does not consider the consequences of divorce is nothing but a fool.  Yes, that was very much worth typing twice.

    .

  • Anonymous
    2 weeks ago

    No, you're not justified in being annoyed. You're not even engaged, so the entire thing is just a ridiculous hypothetical. Plus you can always say "No, that's not going to work for me".

  • ?
    Lv 6
    2 weeks ago

    If this were a second marriage for the two of you, and his net worth is significantly greater than yours now, a prenup may be reasonable for some people.

    For a young couple and a first marriage?  In my view, suggesting a prenuptial agreement is a screaming red flag from someone avoiding commitment and responsibility.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 weeks ago

    You can negotiate what you get out of it if the marriage comes to an end. For example, you can ask for how much your alimony will be based on how many kids you have, have many months you didn’t work because you spend taking care of them, etc. 

    It’s like a baseball contract where bonuses kick in for accomplishing certain goals. 

    A prenup is supposed to make a divorce less messy. It’s supposed to save you attorney fees since it’s a contract so there’s no need to spend all that time and money in litigation. 

    It could also work against him.  Imagine if you’re the guy that married debbi fields and made her signed a prenup. He’s probably kicking himself because she ended up founding mrs. fields cookies. 

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