Yahoo Global Warming, This is Clown Crusher. Can I get help?

First of all, I have my own confession to make. My accusers were right. I really was paid to post here by Exxon.

You may have recently seen the thread by Michael. I never met or even saw Michael, but he was my connection at Exxon. Michael’s recent thread outlined how all the trolling went down.

Initially, my role was to just post content opposed to alarmism. Michael posted all the funny poetry and hot girl pics. But as time went on, my job became less about posting science content, and more about posting nonsense. I objected. I told Michael that I’m a serious writer, and I would not compromise my principles. Michael told me that I was to do as told. I was scared and complied.

But things got worse. I threatened to contact Chevron and work for them. Michael laughed in my face and said The Organization controls all the oil companies.

Then, one day, I met Tatiana while weekly shopping at Safeway. Tatiana was a former weather girl in Moscow Russia, but now working in the Safeway bakery, Moscow Idaho. I know, right? Crazy!

I confided in Tatiana. I told her my problem with The Organization. She was attentive, caring, and beautiful all at once. We fell in love and were to be married.

But Tatiana betrayed me. She was with The Organization! And don’t believe Michael. His so-called "confession" was trick to lure me out of hiding!