Myst

Where did ya go? lol

i totally understand what you are saying about while being with a woman, if you thought of a man you feel like you would be cheating. it's all about the intimacy between two people, rather than about two different genders. the same thing can happen to straight people, gay, les, trans, and bi. (did i leave any out? lol) sounds to me like you might be a 'one at a time' kind of person. maybe not, it just sounds like it from what i hear you saying.

i agree with several of the others in that it sounds like you may be bi. and yep there are differences between the baaaaad girl and the goooooood girl, and what turns us on or not about each can be hard for us to understand and/or accept about ourselves. i've been around the block a few times, heh, and what i've found is that the best relationship *for me* is a girl who is a combination between baaaaaad and goooooood and is spontaneous with each. :D

another thought i had is that you could be thinking about all this too much, analyzing it to death. do you think or feel that you are? if not, that's ok, it's just an impression i got is all. if you are, then you might want to try and relax and not worry about it all so much. it sounds to me like you are putting a major load of pressure on yourself with so much analyzing it all. some things just need to take time, patience, and be allowed take place when and how it was meant to. worrying about it so much, being so nervous about whether you can or cannot perform (no matter who you choose or why) will very likely end up with you not being able to perform at all. it's kind of like bringing that on yourself where there's no need for that. relax! just let things happen. and you just might amaze yourself! :D

Myst