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General Kala
I'm a single mum of three bee-yoootiful bin lids. I'm meant to work from home which basically means I spend far too long faffing about on here avoiding it. I'm partial to sandwiches, a good cup of tea and a snifter or three when I'm allowed. I'm friendly, harmless and always up for a giggle or two so please don't take offence at any of my answers (it ain't personal - I don't even know you matey!) and please feel free to e-mail me if it takes your fancy..
I have always wanted to know..?
Do you have the devil in you?
Or are your pants just a little too tight?
11 AnswersPolls & Surveys1 decade agoIf for the remainder of your life you had to either..?
..wrap an unending stream of sandwiches with ridiculously sticky clingfilm
or
find the end of the sellotape on an unlimited supply of half-used rolls
Would you just end it all right now?
25 AnswersPolls & Surveys1 decade agoWhy shouldn't you wear Russian undercrackers?
Cos chernobyl fallout.
Boom, boom.
4 AnswersJokes & Riddles1 decade agoWhat is the point of unsmoked bacon?
14 AnswersPolls & Surveys1 decade agoA priest is staying in town for a convention..?
..and goes to check into his hotel.
Formalities finished, the porter takes his bags and the receptionist hands him his key when the priest says "Oh yes. Excuse me miss, I meant to check. Is the porn channel in my room disabled?"
"Er...why no father.." replies the receptionist
"..It's just regular porn like in all the others."
10 AnswersJokes & Riddles1 decade agoDoes anybody know where I can buy a smoking jacket size 18months-2yrs?
I'm thinking about painting a thin 'tache on my young son and training him to walk about the house with a hand in one pocket of the said jacket, possibly with the addition of a small plastic sherry glass to hold in the other, purely for my own amusement.
Is this wrong?
12 AnswersPolls & Surveys1 decade agoA question for all the bad boys: Tell me please...?
...what ARE you gonna do when they come for you?
16 AnswersPolls & Surveys1 decade agoIS there too much fighting on the dance floor?
aaaaiiii -iii-aaiii-iii-aaaaiiii-ii-aaii-ii-aaii- ii-aaii...
10 AnswersPolls & Surveys1 decade agoHave you ever watched your father beat a man until both he and the man were crying?
(And please, someone tell me what comedy show that line is from - it's been sending me fooking mental for months! Absolutely? Vic Reeves? I can't bloody remember!! Grrr)
6 AnswersPolls & Surveys1 decade agoAre there strange things afoot at the Circle-K?
5 AnswersPolls & Surveys1 decade agoNow you're no longer a kid, is a finger of fudge still just enough?
Or do you find that as you've aged you're now in need of something a little more fist-sized?
10 AnswersPolls & Surveys1 decade agoIf you have small children, have you ever pretended to be dead just to see what they'd do?
(In case you haven't, they apparently sit on your head and carry on watching cbeebies. Hmmm..)
9 AnswersPolls & Surveys1 decade agoWhat's the best thing you've ever done to someone/had done to yourself whilst sleeping?
..and I'm not condoning the use of Rohypnol.
I just find it helps.
7 AnswersPolls & Surveys1 decade agoIf you could sum up your day so far in one word or noise, what would it be?
And what would you like it to be tomorrow?
Mine:
Today - Mushy
Tomorrow - Hoooplaah!
30 AnswersPolls & Surveys1 decade agoA boy stands crying at the edge of a cliff..?
..when a priest walks by.
"Oh dear oh dear" he says "Tell me, why are you crying?"
"It's my mum and dad" sobs the boy "Their car went over the edge.. and.. I think.. they're dead!"
The priest looks round, pulls out his knob and says "Hmmm, not your day is it son!"
12 AnswersJokes & Riddles1 decade agoDo you think if i just sack off doing my work..?
...some friendly sprite will come in the night and do it for me if i leave a thimble full of vodka and a couple of quality street out?
4 AnswersPolls & Surveys1 decade agoWhat would you prefer? A magic torch or a magic bag?
16 AnswersPolls & Surveys1 decade agoIf you were a superhero with truly excellent superpowers..?
.. would you actually bother to help fight crime or just lark about all day showing off and putting the willies up people for a giggle?
13 AnswersPolls & Surveys1 decade agoIf you knew that you could only ever have just one more orgasm..?
..when would you use it up?
10 AnswersPolls & Surveys1 decade ago