alex

I have been best friends with this girl (call her Julie) for about 5 months now. When we met she was my old best friend's ex and she was dating someone. I say my old best friend because after me and her became friends he stopped talking to me completely. (He actually introduced us because he was trying to talk to her again). Once we started hanging out more I started talking to this other girl and we started all going out and hanging out in groups. She ended up breaking up with her boy and a few days later (by coincidence) I broke it off with the girl I was talking to to. That weekend we went out together to "celebrate being single" and had fun and ended up dancing a lot together. Everything seemed fine the whole night then this girl I had danced with earlier in the night came and said bye to me and I ended up getting her number. When I turned around my friend was PISSED. I was what was wrong and she wouldn't tell me (she was trashed and passing out) So I ended up having to drive her home. When we got there she said I love you (we normally do) and we normally kiss on the cheek but this time she kind of got my lips. I tossed it out as a drunken encounter, and no big deal since I have seen her do this with other guy friends. The next day I met this new girl at a party (Call her Jessica) and started talking to her almost immediately. I spent the whole week together and introduced them to each other since my best friend. After the week Jessica moved. Julie said she loved her and whenever we would go out she would tell me things to say or do to help make the distance work a little better. Then this past weekend we went out with some friends and had a fun time. When we went to this bar Julie and I ended up alone and she started talking about how lucky Jessica was and how great I am. We ended up sitting on this couch and she was leaning against me and I realized we were holding hands. We went back to our friends house and she started talking about Jessica again and did another cheek type of kiss except again, she got me on the mouth. At this point I thought she liked me for sure. I asked her and she said no... I said ok and left, still not really believing her. When I woke up the next morning I had texts from her calling me babe and when I texted her asking what happened she responded with "oh nothing, I love you" and when I asked if we were still on for the beach she responded with "yes my love". Very odd timing for both. I went to work that day and realized I would take Julie over Jessica, which scared me. One of the guys I work with was out with us that night and said they talked about it that morning and she said she just saw everyone who was there as a friend. So I decided to write her a letter basically saying all this and telling her how I realized my feelings and because I know she doesn't feel the same that we should probably not be friends so there are no incidences or problems (especially when we are drunk). I am not sure how to make this a question but I am mainly just looking for opinions. Did I do the right thing to preserve me and Jessica's relationship? Maybe I am missing something and reading too far into signals. Julie is a very outgoing person who is good and making connections with people, and she uses touch to establish bonds quickly (touching hands, arms, backs) A lot of guys absolutely love her (she is gorgeous). I just don't want to be like every other guy who tries to be her little puppy and let her wrap them around her finger. I am honestly most sad to lose her as a friend but after realizing how strongly I felt I really don't think I could take it....

Ok so me and this girl have been friends for a long time. We finally started hooking up about two months ago, no big deal. She said she just wanted to be friends with benefits, I was perfectly fine with it. About two weeks ago she came over and was wanting to have sex. After 4 days straight of leg workouts, rock climbing, and basketball my body was NOT up to the task. I told her no. Right after I said that she changes her alarm (She has an alarm to remind her when to leave) back an hour and leaves a bit before that. Once she left I got mad because I didn't understand why we couldn't just have nights where we just hung out and watched a movie. Now she keeps saying she doesn't want to have sex. Why is she suddenly being so weird about this whole thing? I told her it was just a night that I was literally too tired to do anything but now she is being all weird about this. I understand being denied sex is foreign for a lot of girls but it happens. I apologized but now I'm just not sure what to do. A few days ago she went out and got drunk and was texting me about how she was horny and wished I was there, but I just stayed in because it was 1 am and I knew she was just drunk texting. What should I do to try and get us back to the Friends WITH benefits rather than friends WITHOUT benefits. I have a feeling this is just her trying to get back at me a bit, especially after the night she texted me but it just feels like a stupid game.

I know this girl who I have been told talks about me a lot. She is a very cool girl and is very open with most people, so it is hard to gauge how she acts towards me compared to others since she seems to act the same towards everyone. Up until recently she has had a boyfriend but a mutual friend has assured me she talks about me all the time. He even said her ex broke up with her because he thought me and her had a lot of sexual tension, along with a bunch of other issues. My issue is that even though I have heard all of these things I'm not sure how to approach her about it. I want to discuss everything with her from the beginning and get it all out there but I feel like it could make things awkward... My big question is, is it wise to talk about everything and lay it all on the table or should I just keep letting it all go with the flow and risk losing the opportunity?