Normand

I'm looking for some recommendations for some fiction books.

I'm 23 and I've never read much fiction. Generally speaking, when I do read I like to read textbooks and manuals. I never got into reading fiction because there's just such a huge selection that I never knew where to start.

I don't really know what genre I'm looking for, in other media my tastes are pretty diverse. I would like to avoid fantasy, though. It's not really my thing, I've never really had any interest in anything overtly fantastical.

Thanks in advance!

I have no motivation, ambitions, dreams, or purpose in my life. I've tried researching ways to find or discover something along those lines for myself, but all I've been able to find are things designed to help one accomplish or follow-through with them. I was talking with a friend about this and her response was that I should just "be myself" and to do that I should remember what I wanted as a child, what made me passionate.

I have no idea what or who I am in any meaningful way. I obviously know my own name and where I live and other facts, but not who I am. I spent almost all of my youth (from around ten years old through to very recently, I'm 23) actively denying myself a social identity. By that I mean I try to be as invisible as possible. Removing anything noteworthy or attention grabbing from my life, no recognition was infinitely better than either good or bad recognition.

By burying every thought or outward appearance that would make me at all interesting I've led an incredibly dull life as I'm sure you can imagine. As a consequence, I no longer know what I would have wanted for myself at a young age, or what would make me passionate then or now.

Any ideas or advice on how to proceed? Or ways to 'discover' or 'rediscover' something that makes me want to get out of bed in the morning?

I've never really had guy friends. I think that's weird since I'm a guy. I don't really know why or how this happened, but since I was about 11 or 12 probably 90% of my friends were female. I'm 23 now, and married, so its been awhile.

What are typical things that guys my age do? I honestly have no idea and when I do a bit of searching on the internet and elsewhere it all seems unsavory. This is very disappointing for me because I would like to have guy friends, but if all they're interested in are sports, drinking, and women than I'd rather not.

Please tell me there are other things that guys my age are into. Any suggestions?

I have very few friends, and would like more. However, as I'm an adult I don't have a lot of the advantages that kids have when it comes to making friends. How do adults do it?

To provide a little background information pertinent to my particular situation: I'm 23, male, married, and unemployed. Also, I have few interests. That bit in particular I feel will hold me back quite a bit. I don't belong to any clubs, or groups, or anything like that. I don't have social hobbies, I dislike sports, and I don't party. (Its easier for me to not party than to go and just be uncomfortable the entire time. I don't drink, and loud obnoxious music is, well, loud and obnoxious.) I also don't play video games, card games, board games, or really any kind of game.

Perhaps I'm a lost cause. Any ideas?

My wife and I are considering moving to Washington (State, not D.C.) within a few years and I was wondering whether its a generally gun-friendly state. I've read that openly carrying a gun is permitted (as is concealed from what I understand) and that sparked my curiosity. I know that (generally) Washington leans a bit left politically, so what's the public attitude like? Does the general public support carrying (whether concealed or open) and not think twice when they see it? Or is the general public more hostile than the laws would suggest?

I'm a hobbyist who shoots digital, and I'm looking to experiment in film photography. I'm only looking at black and white for the moment, and I'd like really deep blacks and bright whites. Grain isn't too much of a concern for me, although of course less is better. I spoke to a retired photographer recently who suggested Neopan 1600, but it appears its out of production. I have an old Yashica SLR so I'll probably be using that unless I can borrow a family members TLR. In light of that, if the film is available in both 35mm and 120 that would be a plus.

Thanks in advance!

My friends rave about it. So, on their insistence my wife and I starting watching. We're almost finished with the first season, and I hate it. My wife is sort of neutral, she doesn't hate it but she understands where I'm coming from.

It just seems like its a bunch of terrible people doing terrible things to each other for stupid, short-sighted, petty reasons. I don't empathize with any character, I don't care whether any of them live or die. The acting is great, like the scripts and sets and directing. Is it too much to ask for some likeable characters?

Anyone else feel this way? Or, if you feel differently, what am I missing?

(This isn't really the best place for this, but I can't seem to get answers in a more appropriate place, but I figured philosophy could be section related to my question)

I hear quite often that art is about expressing oneself. If this is true, then I have a problem. I've always been involved in art in an amateur manner, ever since I was very little. I've either drawn, painted, or photographed (I've also dabbled here and there with poetry and short prose pieces.) However, my art is always very empty feeling, and I think its because I have nothing I'm trying to express. My art, while it can be perfectly fine from a technical standpoint, is never anything beyond paint on a canvas (or words on a page, or whatever.) I'm not sure if art is for me at this point. If I have nothing to express, and art is about self-expression, how can I be an artist?

Actually, come to think of it, I'm not even sure I like art very much at all. I have been to the Louvre, I've seen great films, I've read great books, but I can't remember being moved by anything. Sure, I appreciated the skill, effort, time, etc. that went into producing the various masterworks that I've seen but I just can't seem to appreciate anything beyond the technical. I can look at hundreds of photographs and critique them or whatever but I won't be moved by them.

What is wrong with me? How can I not have anything to express? If I do have something to express and just can't see it, how can I discover it?

Thoughts?

I have no hobbies. I desperately want something to do, but nothing appeals to me. I've found lists and lists of hobbies and activities that people enjoy and after going through dozens of them (often the lists include hundreds of things) I can't find a single solitary thing that sounds fun or interesting or intriguing. In my life I've often indulged in artistic hobbies (painting, photography, etc.) but I've never really enjoyed them much. I've never produced a work that I can confidently say "This is awesome." I don't even enjoy the process much, I very much started because I've always been told "You're good at it, you should do that!" I've more-or-less decided I don't want to continue with the arts for the time being because they don't make me happy, they've not really been about me enjoying myself and expressing myself (which I think they should be.) Granted, I also don't really have anything I'd like to express.

I've always been a passive person (even as a child.) I'd much prefer observing someone do something than actually do it myself. As a result I just can't think of anything to do, for me because I want to do it.

I'm very much an amateur and after being involved with photography as a hobby for a few years I feel like I might have fallen 'out of love' with it. I just can't be moved to take pictures anymore it seems. I might use my camera to document something, but other than that it sits on a shelf. It feels different to any sort of 'artist's block' I've had. Normally there might be periods where I want to shoot something, but don't know what. This is the opposite, I have plenty of things I could shoot but I don't want to, I don't see the point. I've never accepted money for photos, and I've never planned or wanted to so I wouldn't be turning my back on a potential career or anything like that.

I'm torn mostly because I don't really have anything to fill that part of my life with, I think its good to have hobbies and if I give up photography I can't think of anything to replace it with.

Advice? Thoughts?

I am tired of my life as it is. I'm directionless, unmotivated, unemployed, lazy, and constantly under-perform to my potential. The problem is that I have no idea how to live any other type of life.

I've heard from many many sources that the key to enjoying life and being successful is a combination of having passionate interests, setting goals to achieve, achieving the goals, maintaining motivation, and a host of other self-help/motivation/feel-good things. I understand the ideas, but I have no idea how to apply them to my life. I have no passionate interests, I have no specific goals to challenge myself to meet, and of course, I have no motivation to meet the goals that I don't have.

When I've been asked things like "What would you do if you had no need to work?" or "What are you good at? What do you like about yourself, that makes you happy?" I have no answers. I can't begin to form an answer because all that comes to mind are vague things like "I want to be happy, and successful." but nothing specific or concrete like "I want to be living in X city doing Y because it brings me joy and allows me to use my talents to do Z."

Any thought?

I'm curious about how people go about finding a niche or a style for their photography. I've heard people say that they just photograph things they're passionate about and over time a style develops. Is that how it works for you?

For myself, I don't think I have a style or a niche. I'm not particularly worried about developing one or the other, I'm just a hobbyist. I shoot what I want and how I want to, sure, but there isn't really any consistency with it. I've never had a moment where I said to myself (for example) "I want to be an automotive photographer!" While I might photograph a variety of things (generally objects, I find working with people tedious at best) I guess I'm just not passionate enough about any one genre of 'thing' to make that my niche.

I'm a 23 year old depressed male. My depression is going untreated because I can't afford treatment. I have no drive to do anything with myself, other than continue existing. I don't want to die, but I don't feel like my life will ever amount to anything. I know that in order to have a successful life, I have to force myself to make it successful. The problem is that I have no drive, or inspiration. I can't think of anything worth doing. My stumbling block is my mortality, I know that at some point I will cease existing. I'm stuck between wanting to make something of the time I have, but also knowing that whatever I do or do not do with my life will eventually become irrelevant. Whether its my personal death, the end of humanity, or the end of time my accomplishments will mean nothing. I'm not religious so I don't believe that what I do now will influence whether I have a good afterlife or a bad one, because there isn't one to have.

I feel like a child, but I really have a hard time answering "What's the point?" with anything other than "There isn't one." I've tried looking at inspirational blogs, videos, books, quotes, etc. but everything leaves me feeling cold. I feel like I'm blind to life.

Any suggestions or advice on finding a reason to live (other than because being dead is worse)?

I'm just curious if anyone else names their cars. Also, do you view cars as simple machines, or can they have personalities?

I'm just curious if anyone else names their cars. Also, do you view cars as simple machines, or can they have personalities?

I'm 23, male, a nerd, and I own a PS3. However, I never use it for games. Sometimes I forget that it can play games, to me its a Blu-Ray player.

What I'm asking is, given that I'm a 23 year old male, is it strange that I have no interest in videogames. I used to be an avid gamer (when I was 8 or so.) But by my teens I almost never played games despite having a variety of systems and games available to me almost constantly. Now I have literally one game, that I haven't played in months. What is wrong with me?

I've been wondering about the purpose of art, I've drawn my own conclusions and I'm interested in hearing your thoughts.

Why do we make it?

Do you make art simply because doing so makes you happy?

Do you feel like there is something in you that must be expressed?

Are you proud of your art and that you made it?

How important are artists in society?

How important is an artist relative to (for instance) a surgeon or a teacher?

For professional artists: Out of all possible careers, why did you choose an art?

I've been wondering about the purpose of art, I've drawn my own conclusions and I'm interested in hearing your thoughts.

Why do we make it?

Do you make art simply because doing so makes you happy?

Do you feel like there is something in you that must be expressed?

Are you proud of your art and that you made it?

How important are artists in society?

How important is an artist relative to (for instance) a surgeon or a teacher?

For professional artists: Out of all possible careers, why did you choose an art?

I'm simply wondering what everyone's opinion is regarding Ducati. I don't ride motorcycles, so I can't say anything about them from a riding perspective. I think they are beautiful though, I wouldn't mind having one on display just to look at. So, for me they are like moving art. They look fantastic and make some gorgeous noises.

I'm depressed (diagnosed), so this is more or less expected, but what should I do to combat my problems? I would seek professional help (and have in the past) but unfortunately I'm unemployed and can't afford treatment.

I have this overwhelming anxiety that my life is being wasted, and that its my fault that I'm wasting it. I have a lot of things I regret in my past and honestly believe I can't change how I behave because I'm just broken somehow. Always been a loser, always will be is the mindset that I just can't break away from. I know its unproductive and quite unhealthy.

I feel like I would be less apathetic and prone to boredom driven downward-spirals if I had a goal to dedicate my energies to. I just can't think of anything. Nothing seems worth it, even the things that I more-or-less enjoy.

I don't really have any friends, and don't know if I could make any. I'm pretty solitary and reclusive, I wouldn't leave my house if I didn't need to. I don't like social activities, so the likelihood of meeting someone without putting myself in a terrifying spot is pretty much nil. Just thinking of meeting new people is almost panic-attack inducing.

What should I do to help myself? Any suggestions?