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I dated this girl for a few months after I was friends with her for a while. Her father left when she was a baby and was never around, and she was engaged to a guy that was physically and verbally abusive to her. He put her in the hospital and she now has a restraining order against him, yet he doesn't quite seem to get the hint and she is still dealing with that after two years. Things between us were fantastic until one day she just turned it off like she flipped a switch. I later find out that she has a history of this with guys that she has dated and even her friends. As soon as she finds herself close to others she has a freak out. Now it has been a few months since we have broken up and we still talk to each other and hang out. She has opened up to me a lot in this time and has told me her story about what has happened in her life, that she has a tendency of freaking out, that she feels like she made a mistake, and that she does not want to date anyone until she figures her problems out. I really clicked with her and care for her very much and it kills me to see her in pain. I understand that we may never get back together and that is fine with me. I would rather see her happy. I don't feel as though I am wasting my time because if that what it takes to help her even to be some one else, her happiness is what concerns me. Now with that novel being said. What the hell do I do. I am there for her, I listen, I talk and try to take her mind off of it. I do try to lightly push her to talk every now and then because I know that if she keeps it bottled up she will never be happy. It is really a delicate subject with her and I just dont know what to do any more. I dont want to walk away either because of things that we said during our relationship, and mostly I dont want to add to her abandoment issues because of those said things. Love is knowing when to let go, I just dont want to do it prematurely and add to her misery. Any thoughs or advice or words of encouragement would be great because my hair is naturally falling out and I cant afford to pull any more of it out on my own. Thanks

I dated this girl for a few months after I was friends with her for a while. Her father left when she was a baby and was never around, and she was engaged to a guy that was physically and verbally abusive to her. He put her in the hospital and she now has a restraining order against him, yet he doesn't quite seem to get the hint and she is still dealing with that after two years. Things between us were fantastic until one day she just turned it off like she flipped a switch. I later find out that she has a history of this with guys that she has dated and even her friends. As soon as she finds herself close to others she has a freak out. Now it has been a few months since we have broken up and we still talk to each other and hang out. She has opened up to me a lot in this time and has told me her story about what has happened in her life, that she has a tendency of freaking out, that she feels like she made a mistake, and that she does not want to date anyone until she figures her problems out. I really clicked with her and care for her very much and it kills me to see her in pain. I understand that we may never get back together and that is fine with me. I would rather see her happy. I don't feel as though I am wasting my time because if that what it takes to help her even to be some one else, her happiness is what concerns me. Now with that novel being said. What the hell do I do. I am there for her, I listen, I talk and try to take her mind off of it. I do try to lightly push her to talk every now and then because I know that if she keeps it bottled up she will never be happy. It is really a delicate subject with her and I just dont know what to do any more. I dont want to walk away either because of things that we said during our relationship, and mostly I dont want to add to her abandoment issues because of those said things. Love is knowing when to let go, I just dont want to do it prematurely and add to her misery. Any thoughs or advice would be great because my hair is naturally falling out and I cant afford to pull any more of it out on my own. Thanks